I was so concerned with the little things in our wedding planning. It wasn't the big things that worried me, but the small things. Like, why a bride puts a sixpence in her shoe.

Wait. You don't know about that?

Okay Hang on. It's like that poem.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

When I was trying to figure out what the heck to use for each line of the stanza, I learned there was a follow up sentence: with a sixpence in her shoe.

But ... why?

Why A Bride Puts A Sixpence In Her Shoe

Who gives the bride a sixpence?

One telling of the legend is that back in the day, this sixpence was part of the dowry paid to the groom by the bride's family. But I didn't really like that idea.

Mostly because I don't like the idea of a dowry. I mean, sure, yes, back in the day that worked for people. The dowry was paid to the groom, and his family, in exchange for them taking care of the bride for the rest of her days.

But, something tells me Destiny's Child and all the women making their own money and all the mama who profit dollars throwing their hands up would have a problem with that.

(And if you completely forgot the song Independent Women dominated the charts after that Charlie's Angels movie, then that last line made no sense).

So I didn't like that explanation, and I only heard that once anyway, so I had to dig a little deeper.

What does the sixpence signify?

What I found when I kept looking was that the father of the bride is actually the one to put the silver coin into the bride's left shoe. It's a way of him wishing prosperity upon her and the marriage.

How cute is that?

The tradition also says the sixpence doubles as a bride's "something borrowed" since she is borrowing the coin from her father. I guess he asks for that sweaty, smelly, shoe-lived coin back at the end of the night. Maybe he needs to pass it along to the next daughter getting married.

Honestly, though, I think any traditions with a daughter and her dad are just so special, so I really love the idea of this one.

Where should I put my sixpence shoe?

If you do decide that you want a little extra luck on your wedding day and prosperity in your future, you should put the sixpence in your left wedding shoe.

How much is a sixpence worth?

According to Wikipedia, a sixpence, also known as a tanner or sixpenny bit, is a British coin that was worth six pence.

Which, logically, makes sense. But also means nothing to this American.

Wikipedia continues and says that's equivalent to one-fortieth of a pound sterling or half of a shilling.

Which still, means nothing.

In 1980, a sixpence was worth 2 1/2 new pence. And then I think people got tired of all this because the coins were retired in June 1980, before I was born.

Where can you buy a sixpence?

At least that's the easy part. You can just buy a sixpence online.

Do I have to use a sixpence?

If you're really following tradition, your dad must hunt down a sixpence for you, put it in your shoe, and send you on your merry way down the aisle, slightly leaning to the left.

But, if you just want a little symbolism, you don't have to use a sixpence. You can just go with a regular ol' American penny.

Do most American brides put a sixpence in her shoe?

If I'm being completely honest, this is one tradition I skipped. I wasn't sure that I could walk in heels with a coin inside -- but some people might actually tell you they're not sure I could walk in heels.

I did just fine walking in heels, by the way. Although we did change to matching Converse for the reception.

I also don't know any other bride who actually put a sixpence in her shoe. I also don't know anyone who is insanely wealthy. So go with the sixpence just in case?

What about the rest of the something borrowed poem?

Skip the sixpence, but definitely go with the rest of the something borrowed poem. That's a really easy tradition to accomplish.

Want to know how I did it?

Something old ... jewelry lent to me from my mom.

Something new ... a new Alex & Ani ring. Although a lot of brides consider their wedding dress their something new.

Something borrowed ... my friend Nicole's garter belt.

And something blue ... that garter belt again. Nicole actually used it as her something blue, so that worked out perfectly for me.

What wedding traditions should you keep?

I am a sucker for a good wedding tradition. I think they're so important. A father walking a bride down the aisle, the first dance, the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding ... I'm a big supporter of all of them.

I actually have a whole post about why wedding traditions are so important. And if you're on the fence about a couple of them, I think reading that post will definitely sway you to decide to keep the traditions, even if you're trying to be a non-traditional bride.

Pete even wrote a full post about why the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding. I'm not sure he was completely on board with that idea until our wedding day. After that, he figured out why that's a really important tradition.

If you're wondering about traditions, with 21 wedding traditions and superstitions, so give that a read when you get a chance.

And if you have any family traditions -- like songs your family loves, a specific flower in all the bride's bouquets, etc. -- you'll definitely want to incorporate those into your wedding planning. You don't want to buck any family traditions because that's something you'll definitely regret.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Will you be a bride who puts a sixpence in her shoe? Let us know in the comments.

5 Father Daughter Dance Alternatives

One of my favorite moments during our wedding was the father daughter dance. We danced to Steven Curtis Chapman's Cinderella. Although, to be honest, I think I'm probably the only person in the world who actually knows that. I heard the song on the radio once and instantly knew it was my father daughter dance song. But, what about someone who doesn't want to do a father daughter dance? You don't have to. There are father daughter dance alternatives.

5 Father Daughter Dance Alternatives

There are lots of reasons you may be looking for a replacement for father daughter dance. Maybe your dad isn't in the picture, maybe he has passed away, maybe he can't make the wedding. Whatever the case is, you may be trying to figure out what to do.

We have five great ideas for you.

1. Skip it.
This is the most simple one, but the one people overlook. No one says you have to have a father daughter dance. Everything about your wedding is optional, except the actual getting married part. That part you have to do.

So if you don't want to do the father daughter dance, don't do it. We actually skipped the mother son dance because Pete's mom passed away four years before we got married, and not one person came up to me to say we forgot it.

2. Dance with your mom.
Some people skip the father daughter dance because there's no dad in the picture. But think about who is walking you down the aisle. If that's your mom, then ask her to do a mother daughter dance instead. It would be an incredibly beautiful moment for her.

You don't have to slow dance with your mom like you would with your dad. Instead, pick something fun like Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and just dance and jump around and make a beautiful memory with your mom.


3. Dance with your siblings.
Do you have a brother you are really close with? Or how about a couple brothers?

There are so many tear-jerking videos online where a bride dances with her brothers who keep on stepping in during the song's duration. The one above has their late father's voice interjected in the song and my gosh, I don't know anyone who can watch it without crying.

4. Dance with your father-in-law.
Price Charles walked Meghan Markle down the aisle to Prince Harry because Meghan's dad wasn't able to attend the Royal Wedding. What a great father-in-law. Your father-in-law could step in for other roles too.

I was reading something recently about a woman who lost her dad young and started dating her boyfriend around that time. Her boyfriend's dad stepped in to be a father figure ... and eventually became her father-in-law. If you have that type of relationship with your father-in-law, he would be a great choice for your father daughter dance partner.

5. Have a family dance.
Instead of focusing on solo dances, why not do a family dance instead of father daughter dance?

Have the mother daughter dance -- and at the same time, dance with a male figure who you feel comfortable with, have your fiance's dad dance with a sister, have your mom dance with a brother, have a few aunts and uncles who may be interested, etc. Having a big group together will take away from the fact that you're not having a traditional father daughter dance.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which of these father daughter dance alternatives is your favorite?

Why Wedding Traditions Are So Important

It's your wedding. You want to do you. You want to buck traditions. You want a cupcake tower and a penguin ring bearer because YOLO. I get it. I wanted cupcakes and Pete wanted to ride in on a donkey. In the end, we went with a fabulous cake and Pete walked in with personalized Converse. Sometimes, traditional is okay. But always -- and I stress always -- wedding traditions are a necessity.

When I was planning my wedding, I knew we would have Ave Maria sung during the ceremony. I didn't know when, but I knew it was my grandma's favorite song and that it was important to her to have it sung at my mom's wedding. So here I was, a generation later, knowing it had to be in our ceremony. I never mentioned this to my grandma. I never told her I had it sung because of tradition. I just wanted her to sit during our ceremony and have a moment where she heard the song and thought, "This is my favorite." I gave her that moment, sure, but tradition and history and nostalgia really gave it to her.

And we had a band. Before she passed, before Pete and I were engaged, heck we might not have even been officially a couple yet, Pete's mom told me her favorite weddings were the ones with bands. She said she let her daughters, Pete's sisters, make every wedding decision without her input -- except for the band. She insisted they opt for a band over a DJ and they were both grateful for the push in that direction. So, keeping up the tradition of Pete's family, we had a band. And what a difference the band really made. Pete even got to play with them, which was such a special moment for everyone.

I was grandma-sitting last month, thinking about how lucky it was for me to be able to give her Ave Maria at our wedding, how lucky I was to give her a photo of me alone with my dress and veil because that's the shot she wanted. Did I want a veil? Originally, no. But was it a tradition that was important to my grandma? Yes. And that was that.

These are the things people are going to remember about your wedding. As much as you agonize over it, no one is going to remember if you have a garden or Caesar salad. People won't care if you have yellow or white votive candles in your centerpieces, although that is a decision you will have to make.

But if you play your parents' wedding song and have them slow dance to it, they'll remember that. If your groom wears his grandpa's hat, people will remember that. Both things we did.

Here's the things about traditions: If you skip them, you don't get a redo. After the wedding is done, you don't get a second chance for any shoulda-coulda-wouldas. It's like life. You don't always get tomorrow.

So when you're planning your wedding, you're going to get upset. You're going to get mad over some suggestions and you're gonna want to plan your wedding your way. But when it's all done, the selfishness that comes from your frustration (aka your Bridezilla moments) may cause you to miss moments that are so incredibly important, ones you wish you could add back in. But by then, it'll be too late.

If you and your husband met at a cupcake shop and you really want to have cupcakes at your wedding, I get it. And if your mom really wants you to use her cake topper that her grandma gave her, I get that too. But you'll have the rest of your life to go get cupcakes with your hubby-to-be. You'll only have one chance to use your great-grandma's cake topper.

And maybe you don't want to have everyone watch as you dance with your dad. I get it. It's hard to have the spotlight on you, even on your wedding day. But that tradition, it's one your dad has thought about since the moment you came into this world. And one day, you won't have the opportunity to dance with your dad. And you'll be clinging to every memory; every moment becomes so incredibly important and special. And you'll be so grateful you had that father daughter dance. And that feeling that fills your soul is worth so much more than the nerves of all eyes on you and your dad for three and a half minutes.

I'm lucky that these are the thoughts that fill my heart and soul and mind. I planned my wedding with these thoughts in my mind, and I hope you will too.

BRIDAL BABBLE: I didn't proofread this. I can't. It's too close to my heart right now. Also why there's no bridal babble question on it. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to come back and read this and chat with you all about it. xoxo, Lisa

21 Wedding Traditions and Superstitions

When I was planning my wedding, I briefly thought about something old (my jewelry), something new (my dress), something borrowed (my garter and my jewelry), and something blue (my borrowed garter). I knew the poem, but didn't know why I really thought I should have those things.

Apparently, it has to do with an old tradition that, among another things, keeps a bride's fertility intact.

Who knew?

There are actually a ton of wedding traditions (like a sixpence in her shoe) and superstitions that I really didn't know anything about. This infographic covers 21 Wedding Traditions and Superstitions (well, it's 21 plus a bonus one at the end). It's a fun read!

Created by GiftBasketsOverseas.com.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which of these wedding traditions and superstitions would you add to your wedding?

Why The Groom Shouldn't See The Bride Before The Wedding Ceremony (From the groom's point of view)

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Last week I wrote about wedding traditions. Many of them are merely a reenactment of some bizarre medieval ritual that has no relation to modern society.

While I still stand by my belief that many wedding traditions are bizarre reflections of a society that is thankfully long gone, upon reflection I must admit that there is one that I was wrong about. Let me just say, before I even get started  that I guarantee you the reason why I was wrong was not because I believed in the tradition. Back in the day (of witches, astrology, and a lack of toilets and showering), the bride and groom were not allowed to see each other before the wedding. In case you didn't read last week's post, I'll remind you why. BridalGuide.com sums it up perfectly:

The wedding symbolized a business deal between two families (romantic, huh?), and a father would have been pleased for his daughter to marry a man from a rich, land-owning family. But he also feared that if the groom met the bride before the wedding and thought she wasn't attractive, he'd call off the wedding, casting shame onto the bride and her family. Therefore, it became tradition that the bride and groom were only allowed to meet at the wedding ceremony so that the groom did not have the opportunity to change his mind. 

Yes, that's right ladies. Women were once considered to be their father's property, like a horse or a cow. If her next male owner (husband) had the chance to see her before the wedding and didn't like what he saw, he may cancel the business deal because he thought she was ugly. That's why it was believed that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding ceremony. That's just one of the disgusting and sexist stories behind most of the wedding traditions we all take for granted. Yet many couples participate in them, just because.

Because why? Because: "That's just what people do." I don't know about you, but personally, I think that is the worst reason to do anything.

One of the first things I said to Lisa when we were planning our wedding day was, "Come on, why can't I see you before the wedding? Why can't we just hang out and get ready together? That would be so fun, like all the guys and ladies together getting ready, having cocktails, and having fun and stuff." But she didn’t see it the same way; she insisted that we not see each other until she was walking down the aisle. She got ready at home with her bridesmaids and she made me book a hotel room for the night before/morning of the wedding.

"Yo that's wack!!" I remember yelling numerous times, but it's what Lisa wanted so I respected it ... even though I thought it was wack and it made no sense to me, just like why are pizza boxes square, the pies a circle, and the slices a triangle? C'mon man, pick a shape; this ain't geometry class.

But I forgot all about it in the ensuing chaos of the wedding morning -- my buddies, all of us in the hotel room, getting ready, laughing, drinking beers, dancing, yelling -- I know it probably sounds cliche or corny, but it's like I wasn't there, like I was outside of myself watching me, while my actual "me" was in shock and disbelief, lost in the amazement of it all, stunned, confused, thinking, "This can't be happening ... I can't believe I'm getting married ... this can't be real ... I didn't think this was in the cards for me ... I'm too much of a mess to be 'marry-able' ... I can't fathom that a woman like Lisa exists ... she saved my life ... "

Suddenly I was at the front of the church, facing forward, then the music started. Everyone stood up and looked towards the rear of the church. I did the same. But as I turned, everything slowed down, I felt weightless. I looked down the aisle, all the way towards the entrance and from my left I saw the most unbelievable and breathtaking sight of my life -- LISA, accompanied by her dad (a man I told Lisa is my idol). Then I wept ... in front of everyone ... I wept and I didn't care. I was flooded with hope and for what's to come, with inspiration, with confidence, with purpose, with direction, with visions of a life I never thought was possible for me.

And that is why I was wrong about this particular marriage tradition. I think this tradition should be completely redefined and modernized to reflect a more accurate and beautiful concept: a bride's beauty concealed and then unveiled at the perfect moment, reminding the groom just how lucky he is (and always was).

Lisa's note: This photo above is our wedding twin Kay's husband Scott's reaction to seeing Kay walk down the aisle. Isn't this one of the most beautiful series of wedding photos ever? What an absolutely heartwarming reaction to see when you're walking down the aisle about to marry your best friend. To have this emotion, from both sides, right before you are about to say your "I Do's", you can't beat that. And that's why I was never a fan of the first look. You miss this, in front of your friends, family, and loved ones, moments before you are wed.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What do you think? Do you agree that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding ceremony?

Wedding traditions like this are so special.
Find out why in our Why Wedding Traditions Are So Important post.

A Groom's Take On The Garter Belt Toss

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Okay fellas; let's talk about the garter belt toss. I've spoken to a few of my buddies about this age-old comic relief stunt, and I've found that it can be quite a polarizing issue. Some people are in the "Yeah, great idea, I just can't wait for my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles to watch me climb up under my new wife's dress" camp, while others don't take themselves so seriously and find the humor in going under their wife's dress in front of family ... and then watching all the single men fight gladiator-style over the garter belt because the girl who caught the bouquet has marvelous thighs and they ALL want to be the one who gets to put their hands on her.

Personally I've been on both sides of the garter belt toss and found it to be a fun and exciting way to be part of something that has the potential to be really amusing. If you're more of a spectator, you can just stand off to the side and watch a bunch of drunk dudes compete to catch a thin strip of silk with the intensity of a pack of NFL players trying to catch a Hail Mary pass in the end zone during the Super Bowl.

The whole garter belt toss tradition supposedly started in the 1300's. Back then, people thought it was good luck to have a piece of the bride's clothing. Guests would basically go bananas and rip the bride's dress to pieces like superstitious savages, leaving the bride looking like her dress was run over by a lawn mower. To stop this nonsense, somebody somewhere at some point decided that the bride should throw her bouquet at the unmarried women and the groom should toss the bride's garter belt at the unwed men. Makes much more sense. Now all of your drunk superstitious guests can fight amongst themselves, leaving the bride safe and her dress in one piece.

My opinion? I dunno. I've always thought that some traditions are great and worth keeping. They can be fun and they give the bride and groom something to look forward to, while others are just antiquated ignorant remnants of the middle ages. For example, the tradition of the bride being "given away." I mean, c'mon people. Women aren't cattle, this isn't 1374, and this isn't a business transaction between two men. Time to throw that one right in the trash where it belongs. (Lisa's note: I actually really love the tradition of a father walking the bride down the aisle and can't imagine a world where this beautiful moment is cut from weddings.)

Another absolutely pointless, ancient, and just straight up creepy wedding tradition that I think needs to be abolished is the "lifting of the veil." Back in the day the wedding veil served two purposes: One) It covered the bride's face so the groom's commitment to her wasn't based solely on looks and two) the lifting of the veil symbolized the allowance of consummating the marriage. (Remember, if you're Catholic, you're not allowed to have sex until your wedding night. TMI, but, some couples would consummate the marriage on top of the white veil and the following morning it would be held up in front of the town, revealing the blood stain, proving that the woman was a virgin. Whaaaaat?)

It's amazing how so many of the wedding traditions we perform are taken for granted because they have been so far removed from their original meaning. You'd be shocked. If I were you, and it matters to you and your wife-to-be, I'd read up on this stuff. Chances are your wedding may be a completely different experience altogether. Shoot man, you might just make up your own traditions altogether!

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are you planning on having the garter belt toss at your wedding?