How To Deal With A Bridezilla

I was a really calm bride. Aside from a meltdown over invitations four months before our wedding, I was pretty zen. I always tell brides you are allowed one insane, crazy, tears streaming from your face meltdown. That's it. Just one. Every other time you start to stress out, you have to cope. So don't waste your crazy on something insignificant like heel height. Your favorite shoes being a half inch higher than you want will not ruin your wedding, so suck it up buttercup and move on. It's not that serious. Shoot, I have a friend who ordered her dress online and accidentally picked ivory instead of white. "Oh well," she said. "I'll just order everything else in ivory too."

There are some brides, though, who have a nervous breakdown over everything. I mean it. Every. Single. Thing. It's exhausting, especially if you're the groom-to-be or her favorite bridesmaid. What can you do? Not much, but I do have a few tips that can help you.

This is my friend Mallory who was just posing for this photo.
She was absolutely NOT a bridezilla for even one minute of her wedding day or her wedding planning,
and she wasn't even a little mad on her wedding day, despite what this picture will lead you to believe.

How To Deal With A Bridezilla

Affiliate links are included in this sponsored post and A Bride On A Budget may receive a small commission if you use them.

1. Don't Devalue Her Stress.
You know the scene. The bride is stressing over something. What it is doesn't matter, you just know it's happening. She is frantically texting you in the middle of the night. You roll over, look at the phone, see 18 texts waiting for you, and roll back over. You have a presentation at work in a handful of hours and you really need some sleep. But the bride has another idea, so she calls you.

You absolutely cannot answer and say, "I have this work thing in the morning so I don't care if you have napkin rings or not. Actually, no one cares. You know why? Because napkin rings are stupid. Now, let me go back to sleep and see if I can get back to that Ryan Gosling dream I was having."

To you, Ryan Gosling absolutely trumps napkin rings. As does sleep. Or a root canal. Literally, at that moment, everything in this world is more important than napkin rings. But to the bride, the only thing that matters is napkin rings. And if you don't pretend to care, if you devalue her napkin ring crisis, she will hold that grudge for eternity. Trust me.

Which leads us to ...

1 (part 2). Just Agree With Her.
Your best bet is to just listen. Even if you're halfway in dreamland, that's fine. The truth is, she doesn't really want your opinion. She just needs to talk out her decision. So let her talk, let her weigh her options, and then agree with whatever she decides. Then tomorrow, when she calls you after work to let you know she changed her mind, agree with that too.

2. Seriously, Just Agree With Her. Even If You Don't. The Bride Does Not Care About Your Opinion.
Hate your bridesmaids shoes? The bride doesn't care. Hate the fact that she picked hot pink and teal as her colors? The bride doesn't care. Hate that you're walking down the aisle with her creepy older brother who always hugged you a little too low when he saw you in the halls in high school? The bride doesn't care.

Your opinions don't matter.

She cares about you, obviously. If she didn't, she wouldn't have asked you to be in her bridal party. But right now, she doesn't care if you can't walk in 4.5-inch heels because you know what, you can order the shoes early and learn to walk in them. Practice wearing them in your apartment at all times. Sleep with them on your feet. Purchase heel liners and an excessive amount of blister Band Aids. Change them as soon as the first dance is over.

But, for the love of God, don't complain to the bride about your shoes. Vent to your boyfriend, your mom, the cashier ringing you up as you purchase the shoes. The bride, though, has already agonized for months over those shoes and finally made a decision. The last thing she wants to hear is that you hate them.

You can hate them, of course. Just don't ever let her know.

This also goes for every other aspect of the wedding, too. If she asks you if you like that neon pink dress with the gigantic bow above your butt, just smile and say you love it. Lie to her face if you have to. It makes things a lot easier.

When someone is planning a wedding and finally made a decision, honestly (that leads her to question her choice) is not the best policy. If you don't like it, just don't do it at your wedding. But let her do it at hers.  

3. Check In With Her. Constantly.
Her world exists only for wedding planning. Nothing else matters. A difficult bride doesn't care that your dog is dying or that you had a great first date with a new guy you just met (she especially doesn't care about that because now she has to figure out if you'll be serious enough come wedding time to get a plus one).

A difficult bride is a really bad, selfish friend. It's awful, but it's true. She just doesn't see it, so you can't really get mad. She doesn't mean to be so self-absorbed, but she is.

But if you act the same way, she will notice. She'll call you out for not caring about her.

So just check in with her. You can even go as far as setting an alarm on your phone to go off at the same time every week. When the alarm goes off, just send her a quick text with, "How's wedding planning going? Anything I can do to help?" Shoot, just go ahead and save that as one of your quick replies in your phone so you don't have to type it every time. She'll appreciate it and it will make her a heck of a lot easier to deal with.

4. Learn To Use Coupons.
A difficult bride will expect a lot from you and your wallet. She expects everything. She wants an engagement gift, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner ... and gifts every step of the way.

It's annoying, especially when you also have to pay for your dress, your shoes, to get your hair and makeup done ... plus your rent, groceries, your car, and anything fun you want to do between now and the wedding (you know, your social life). Somehow, the bride forgets all about that when she expects her bridesmaids to put together a basket and leave it as a surprise in her honeymoon suite.

You can skip all these gifts, which is what any logical person would do. But a difficult bride, she will see that as a slap in the face. She'll be upset if her bridesmaids don't pick up something off her registry and bring it to her shower -- completely ignoring the fact that you paid for a portion of that shower.

So, instead, you need to coupon.

Purchase her registry gift on sale and/or with a coupon. Pick her up a bottle of wine when your store is having a case sale (and pick up a few for yourself because you'll probably need them to survive this wedding). Wait until the day after a holiday and purchase chocolate for 50% off. Then, save it in the closet, and use that chocolate to make favors for her shower.

Wait until you get those free panty and $10 off coupons from Victoria's Secret in the mail and use them to pick up something for her bachelorette party. Also, quick note about Victoria's Secret. It's having a sale right now. You can get a $20 off $50 purchase and a free mist, lotion or lip item with purchase single-use promotional card with any purchase, now through September 6, 2023. So pick up something small now, get those nice coupons, and get a free mist for the bride and an item for her honeymoon with that $20 off coupon.

She won't know if you did or didn't pay full price but she will know if you did or didn't bring a gift.

Honestly, I think it's ridiculous for a bride to expect so much from her bridesmaids. You are paying so much and it seems like she forgets that you don't have a money tree in your backyard. You have limited funds, and a bride should respect that ... but some of them just don't. So instead of getting into a fight over it or just getting incredibly frustrated, set yourself a budget on what you can spend and use coupons to help you stretch that budget.

5. Drop Out Of The Bridal Party.
My friend's friend told me a story about how she sat down her bridal party and told them what she expected. She explained they would be responsible for paying for their hair, nails, and makeup (done in the style she wanted); paying for their dresses, shoes, and accessories; attending all pre-wedding festivities, the wedding, and the after-party; being available at all times; and going on a bachelorette party that required a passport. She told them that if they weren't able to meet her demands, just tell her no. No hard feelings. She gave them an out. I didn't ask if anyone took it, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone did.

Even if your friend doesn't specifically say you can say no, you can. Just because a bride asks you to be in her bridal party doesn't mean you have to do it. Just say no.

You know your friend. You've probably known her for a long time and you know her very well. You know if she will be a difficult bride or if she'll be a calm one. And if you have things in your life that will take priority over her wedding (school, a new baby, work, sleeping through the night), it's best for both of you if you tell her you are honored that she chose you but you just can't give her the type of commitment she deserves. She'll be mad at first, but she'll be a lot more mad if you show up in Cancun for her bachelorette and refuse to pay for every drink she has that trip.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Have you dealt with a difficult bride? What tips would you give others who are dealing with one?

Since May is National Pet Month, it seemed like a good time to remind you of this 5 Ways To Incorporate Your Pet Into Your Wedding Day post.

Admit it: If you have a pet, it's basically your child.

I don't think people are ever crazy about pets until they actually get a pet. Oh, sure, your family may have pets when you're growing up, but until you have your own pet, you don't become that person. You know, the one who talks to their pet like a human, spoiling it like a child.

I think that's just what happens when you have a pet and no children. So of course, if you're a pet parent, you may be wondering how to include your dog in your wedding. Or maybe you want to add your cat to the wedding ceremony. Or your iguana. Whatever you like. It's your big day.

5 Ways To Incorporate Your Pet Into Your Wedding Day

1. Take photos with your pet

This one is easy ... unless your pet is scared of people.

Imagine your bridesmaids, your parents, and you getting ready on the morning of your wedding. Consider them, plus hair and makeup technicians, a videographer, and photographers. Could your pet handle all that?

If that's too much, especially if you have a cat, nix the idea. You don't want the cat to get spooked, jump with claws ready, and tear a hole in your wedding dress before you're even out the door. Wedding photos with dogs are a lot easier if your dog understands commands like sit and stay. If your pup is, well, a puppy, you might be in for a little trouble.

If your pet is calm, definitely pick up a pet bow tie and make sure he's ready for his close up.

2. Add your pet to your cake topper

I absolutely love when people hide a little something on their cake, like an Easter egg. So you could have a cake topper with you and your groom at the top, then hide a fondant version of your pet somewhere at the bottom.

If you want your pet front and center, you're in luck. There are some really beautiful silhouette cake toppers that are perfect: there's a couple with a cat (who is being a curious cat) and a couple with a dog (who is being a very good dog). Par for the course with those pets.

You can find a ton of pet wedding cake toppers, with multiple animals and multiple breeds, so you're bound to find the exact one that represents your pet family.

3. Make your pet the ring bearer

The priest told us that our ring bearer (who was a human) wasn't allowed to carry our actual rings down on a pillow. He could bring a pillow down, of course, but we were asked to tie fake rings to it. He said the chance of a young child dropping the pillow is high, which would mean all our guests would instantly start looking for the rings, causing a commotion.

He also noted that trying to untie the rings while simultaneously trying to conduct the ceremony was not a task he wanted to undertake. So he said give the real rings to the best man, tie fake rings on the ring bearer's pillow, and that's that.

So since your ring bearer can't carry real rings, you can definitely have your dog as your ring bearer. Tie fake rings around his neck and send your pup down the aisle. Of course, if you do this, you first have to look for dog-friendly wedding venues because not all venues will allow this.

4. Have your pet accompany the flower girl down the aisle

Maybe you don't trust your dog on its own. Or maybe you have a turtle that you want to be a part of the ceremony, but it will take forever for him to get down the aisle. That would actually make for hysterical photos but a lot of eye rolling and waiting.

So entrust your flower girl to help your pet out. Put your pet on a flowered leash and ask your flower girl to walk him. It will be an adorable photo opp, plus it helps to guarantee that your pet will have supervision during the walk down the aisle.

5. Add your pet to your save the dates or wedding invitations.

If you want your pets to be a part of your big day, but not actually in your big day, consider using them in your save the dates like my friend Kimie did. Also, these are her pets from photos we used to design her actual save the dates.

Kimie hand painted her signs, but you can actually order our humans are getting married signs or she said yes pet bandanas online if you're less crafty.

Things To Keep In Mind When You Incorporate Your Pet Into Your Wedding Day

Don't, for any second, forget about your pet when you're planning. You have to account for everything. So, I put together a little checklist of questions to ask and take care of before your wedding day.

• Is the venue (ceremony site and reception site) pet friendly?
• Do they have experience with pets?
• Do you have to pay extra to clean up after your pet?
• Is there anything there that the pet can destroy? And what if Fido chews through the couch?
• What is the pet wearing? Who is dressing the pet?
• Who is bringing the pet to the reception? The ceremony?
• Who is packing food and water for the pet?
• Who is watching the pet during the ceremony?
• If the pet decides to run, who is chasing after him or her?
• If the pet goes to the bathroom, who is cleaning it up?
• How are you assuring no one table feeds the pet at the reception?
• If someone does and the pet gets sick, who takes care of it?
• Who is watching the pet during the reception?
• Who is bringing the pet home?

Logistically, there's a lot to consider if you choose to incorporate your pet into your wedding day, but if you pet is like your child, you can't imagine leaving him or her at home. So you'll figure it all out. And your wedding photos will be amazing.

BRIDAL BABBLE: How would you incorporate your pet into your wedding day?

Ten Tips For Planning Your Destination Wedding

I planned our entire wedding almost single-handedly. It wasn't by choice, believe me, but by proximity. Pete and I lived in North Carolina and all our friends and family lived in New York. I was so grateful for the three trips my mom took during our engagement to help us plan, but for the most part, it was a destination wedding for everyone but us.

So when I was planning, I treated it like a destination wedding. I looked at it from our guests' perspective and wanted to make sure they came for more than just a five-hour wedding reception. I wanted to make sure they would have an experience.

If you're planning an actual destination wedding, or a faux one like us, I put together a list of ten tips for planning your destination wedding.

Ten Tips For Planning Your Destination Wedding

1. Choose a location and find out  if you can get married there.
If you're having a destination wedding (either foreign or domestic), you need to figure out the legalities of it all. When do you need to get a marriage license, is your destination location allowed to marry you and will your home location recognize your marriage, and a boatload of other questions. What you need to ask will vary by location, so you should definitely Google and figure out some answers before you have your heart set on a specific location.

2. Take a venue selection trip.
Once you figure out where you're getting married, but before you can do anything else, you have to pick a venue. And you can't really do that without going there. I mean, sure, you can look at venues online, but you can't taste the food via Skype. You need to take a trip to your location ... a trip, not a vacation. You're not going to relax on a beach. You're going to scope out venues, do tastings, find a florist, and look at hotels. Pack in as much as you can during that trip because you probably can't afford to head back a second time.

When you're there, see what packages are offered. Some venues and/or hotels may have excursions available for your guests as part of your wedding package, so definitely look into that.

3. Stay in touch with your hotel.
You want to have an open line with your hotel at all times. They can be your eyes and ears when you're not there, so be extra nice and keep in touch. You can check in with them to see which of your guests have already booked their hotel rooms, ask them questions, and more.

You also want to keep in touch with a venue coordinator, if there is one. If there's not one, consider hiring a planner from your wedding location. The planner will be able to take care of things when you're not there, making planning a lot easier for you.

4. Send your save the dates early.
You want to send your save the dates as soon as you pick a date. The more time you can give your guests to plan -- and save -- the better. Realistically, you want to tell your guests at least a year in advance. That means a full calendar year of birthdays, holidays, and summer vacations that can be adjusted accordingly in order to attend your wedding.

5. ... and add an information packet.
You can't just send out a cute photo with your names and date on it. Destination weddings don't work that way. Instead, you need to include an info packet that contains the venue name, the hotel name, and any relevant travel information. If you met with a travel agent who can give you a group rate, mention that. If there are any deadlines for bookings, you'll want to mention that as well.

6. Pack necessities only.
When we went to Japan this summer, we threw my grandma a birthday party. That meant we packed goody bags and decorations in our suitcases. We also brought gifts for our relatives. I gave my grandma an extra suitcase for these items, in anticipation of her emptying it and letting me pack my souvenirs in it on the way home.

You will end up with a ton of stuff to bring with you. Almost anything in your welcome bags will be traveling with you, so you need room for those items. And if they're heavy, you need to think about your airline's suitcase weight restrictions. With so much wedding stuff, you won't have that much room for your own stuff.

And, speaking of a lot of wedding stuff, check for any customs restrictions. You may not be able to bring certain items into certain countries, and that would be a waste of money and suitcase space to find out at the border.

7. ... and ship what you can.
Definitely ship any decorations, favors, or other items that you can ship. Just budget for that. Shipping can be expensive -- and so can all the items you need to buy to make sure everything is packaged safely. You would hate to open boxes days before your wedding and find out things have gotten damaged.

Also, keep in mind that items may get stuck at customs for a few days so you need to ship early. If that's the case, make sure that you are shipping it somewhere that has space available for you.

And, when you ship, label everything. Be as detailed as you can so life is easier for you when you and your boxes are reunited.

8. Make wedding welcome bags.
You would make wedding welcome bags for out of town guests for a traditional wedding. For a destination wedding, you need to make a bag for everyone. Be very careful of what you add into the bags, though. Some items -- like chocolate -- could melt while you're traveling.

9. Figure out how to get your gifts back.
Your best bet is to not receive gifts at your wedding, but not everyone is going to agree. So that means you'll have to find a way to get back any gifts that are given to you at the wedding. Also, since you didn't declare these items before entering the country, find out what you need to do to declare them on the way out. Different countries have different rules, so it's better to find this out early.

10. Take a day just for you.
There will be a lot of running around and a lot of face time with your guests. What there will be less of is time with your fiance. And yes, you will have the rest of your lives to spend together, but you want to spend some time during wedding week too. If you can't carve out a full day, at least make sure to have one meal just the two of you.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are you planning a destination wedding?

Bride's Wedding Day Packing List

The day after our wedding, I woke up in the hotel room and was getting changed. My family was picking me up in a little bit to go to church.

"Ugh," I thought. "I forgot to pack a bra."

I ended up throwing a zip up on top of my shirt, then had my long hair fall in front of me. Long sleeves on a June day in North Carolina was a little hot, but it was better than showing the Lord the goods. So now, any time I'm talking to a bride on her wedding morning, I always remind her to pack a bra. That's not the only thing I forgot to bring with me, though. I was sitting in the limo, heading from taking photos downtown to the hotel where the reception was. I had my personalized sneakers with me ... but not socks. Ugh again, right? So I sent a text to a local friend, asking her to bring me a pair.

I don't want other brides to find themselves in these situations, so I put together a list of a few things a bride needs to pack on her wedding day.

Bride's Wedding Day Packing List

At the end of the post, there is a printable Bride's Wedding Day Packing List. 

You can actually right click the image below and print out the wedding day checklist printable. Then, physically check off each item when you're packing. That way, you will make sure to not forget anything!

Emergency Kit
You can make your own emergency kit -- filled with aspirin, deodorant, nail files, and more. Or you can buy one. Whatever way you go, though, bring it. There are so many items in there that you (honestly) won't need on your wedding day. But, for the one item you do need, you'll be happy you packed it. And since you won't exactly know what item is the one you'll be hunting for on wedding day, you need to put together and bring a whole kit.

Flip Flops/Sneakers
Are you going to wear your high heels all night long? Probably not. You'll want some comfortable shoes to change into. I actually packed both flip flops and sneakers. I had the flip flops for the beach (since we had a beach reception) and personalized sneakers to match Pete's when we were dancing the night away.

Rings
Don't forget the rings. You can't get married without them. You'll have them with you during the morning, since a photographer will be with you and taking shots of all three rings, and then you'll want to pass them to a bridesmaid to take care of. Make sure she brings them into the ceremony space and hands them to whoever needs them.

Lipstick
It was an accident, I'm sure, but the makeup artists who were at my house gave a small swatch of lipstick to everyone -- except for me. So I didn't have any extra to match my lips. That's life. I wasn't too worried about it, but my bridesmaids were sure concerned. If it happens to you, be sure to pack a similarly colored lipstick -- or just a shade you like.

Tip Envelopes
You'll need to tip your vendors, if they do a good job. So you'll want to carry envelopes with cash inside and the name of the vendor outside. Bring them to the venue and then hand them to your dad to hang on to until the end of the night. For a whole list of who gets tipped, check out our post here.

Snacks
You won't eat. For days, you won't eat. Heck, you might not even eat this snack. But it's good to toss in some grapes or granola bars. Anything easy to eat -- and things that are not messy. You don't want to spill on your white dress.

Water Bottle
I would suggest a water bottle with a straw so you don't ruin your lipstick or accidentally spill on yourself. Maybe a cute one water bottle with pink sparkles because why not. Or how about our personalized bridal party water bottles? Fill it with cold water and sip on it when you can. It's so important to stay hydrated, so this will help.

Schedule
We put together a schedule of events with times (first dance, toasts, cake cutting, etc.) with our band. If you've done something similar, take it with you the day of the wedding. That way you -- or your maid of honor -- can keep track and cross reference it during the day.

Change of clothes/Luggage
If you're staying overnight at your reception venue or a close hotel, be sure to pack a change of clothes for the next day. From my experience, I want to remind you to pack and bra and socks. Whatever else you pack is up to you.

Bag Of Toiletries
If you're staying overnight, you'll need to get ready for bed, then ready for the next day. So you'll need to pack a travel bag with toothpaste, a toothbrush, makeup remover, shampoo, etc. Be sure to pack enough to share with your new husband too, in case he forgets his bag!

Now, about that printable ...

Just right click the image above to save it. Then, print it out when you're ready to pack.

When you use the printable, just put a check in each box after you have packed it. This wedding day checklist for bride will make sure you don't leave anything at home.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other items would you add to this bride's wedding day packing list?

Tips For Throwing The Perfect Bridal Shower

Bridal showers are a really fun part of the wedding planning process, mostly because it's one of the few places where the bride can really let go and have fun. A bridal shower is usually organized by the mother of the bride and the maid of honor, so the bride is really just another guest at the party.

If you're the mother of a bride or the maid of honor, you really want to go out of your way to put together a really special bridal shower for your bride. I'm here to help. This post is basically the ultimate bridal shower planning post. It's all trick and tips for throwing the perfect bridal shower. Put our tips into practice and your bride will have a day to remember.

Tips For Throwing The Perfect Bridal Shower

Budget. 

Right off the bat, set a budget. And then decide who is contributing to that budget. Sometimes it's just the mother of the bride and the maid of honor. Other times, the bridesmaids are asked to pitch in. This wedding is already expensive for all those ladies, so if you're in charge of the bridal shower, be sure to set a reasonable budget for it. 

As soon as you do, tell the other women involved what is expected of them. Are you asking them to contribute money towards decorations? Keep in mind, then, that they might offer to DIY decorations then. If they do, you have to allow that as an option. You can't just take their money and do what you want with it. If you want them to contribute, that means ideas and money, not just money.

Guest list.

Ask the bride for her wedding invitation list. All the women on that list should be invited, regardless of if they RSVP'd yes or no to the wedding itself. Exceptions can be made for non-relatives who are very far out of town, but even then, I personally think you should invite them. College friends might want an excuse to come into town and visit the bride. Let them decide if they want to make the trip or not. Don't make the decision for them.

Invitations do not go out to anyone not invited to the wedding. If you're not inviting them to the wedding, but you are inviting them to the shower, it looks like the bride is fishing for gifts and that is incredibly tacky.

Invitations.

If you know the bride's colors or theme, you can order bridal shower invitations to match. In the invitation, include any information you have about where the couple is registered. Many stores will provide cards with a registry number on them for free. That way, when guests go to the store to purchase gifts, they can hand over the card and pick a gift off the registry.

You should also note if you're planning on having a wishing well or not. A wishing well gift is something small, like homemade coasters, pot holders, or kitchen cleaners.

The venue.

Figure out where you'll be having the party itself. Many people opt to have it at a restaurant because they take care of the set up, breakdown, food, etc. Others decide on having it at home. Figure out where you're going to have it, taking into consideration the number of guests you will have. 

We've had parties of 30 in our home with lots of extra room, but I think my bridal shower had over 50 women. I definitely don't have enough seats for that many people. I would open my home to host a shower for that many guests, but I would make sure to call a rental company and have them deliver extra tables and chairs for the shower.

The menu.

If you're having the shower at a restaurant, they'll be able to help with the menu. They'll let you choose appetizers, entree items, and drinks. If you're having it at home, you'll need to put this together yourself. Be sure to consider vegetarians and have meatless options available. And if your bride has a favorite meal, see if you can include that.

Also, be sure to pick up dessert. A cake with the words "Showers of happiness" usually does the trick. I actually have a few dessert ideas for you too:

• Mini bundt cakes
• Yogurt-covered grapes
• Homemade pudding cups
• Mint to be mint chocolate muffins

Games.

The best part of bridal showers are the games. They really give the guests something to do besides sit, eat, and make small talk with strangers. I actually have a ton of free bridal shower games you can print:

• Bridal Bingo
• Bridal Shower Word Scramble
• Famous Couples Bridal Shower Game
• Bridal Shower Purse Game
• Bridal Shower Word Search

Favors.

You want to have favors as prizes for the games and another set for every guest. I actually have a bunch of posts for DIY bridal shower favors as well:

• DIY "She Got Her Rock" Rock Candy Favor
• Mint Sugar Scrub Favors
• DIY Soap Favors

BRIDAL BABBLE: What are your tips for throwing the perfect bridal shower?

How To Prepare For TSA For Your Honeymoon Flight

Wedding planning is stressful. Trust me, I know. It's why people plan honeymoons. You just need a vacation after all that stress. The last thing you want is to start your honeymoon off with a stressful time at the airport. You just want to get on your flight and get your trip started. You don't want to get stuck. I have a great list with tons of tips for how to prepare for TSA for your honeymoon flight.

How To Prepare For TSA For Your Honeymoon Flight

TICKETS/ID.

Have your information ready.
When you get to security, you'll be asked for your boarding pass and license. If you take those out and have them ready to go, you'll breeze through the first checkpoint. It's so much easier than fumbling through your purse to find your wallet. After you get through, you won't be asked for your ID anymore, so put that away. Keep your boarding pass handy, though, because you will need it at the gate.

(Maybe) pack your passport.
New in 2018 will be the rule that some state's driver's licenses are not compliant with requirements to board a plane. So, if you live in Kentucky, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, and Washington, you'll also want to bring your passport with you. There is no worse way to start your honeymoon than by not being able to get on the plane (unless your state become compliant with the Real ID rule by then).

CLOTHING

Wear slip on shoes. And socks.
You will still be asked to remove your shoes. So as cute as your wedding heels are, they aren't your best bet for airport security. You'll have to take them off, leaving you with named feet as you walk through security. Eww. Just eww. Instead, get yourself a pair of cute slip on shoes, wear a pair of fun socks, and you won't cringe as you walk through the metal detector.

Empty your pockets.
Before you even get to security, check your pockets. Anything in them -- loose change, lip balm, etc. -- will need to come out and go in a bin. Then you have to collect it all and put it back in your pockets. It's a little bit of a pain. If your pockets are empty to start, you can breeze right through.

Don't wear a belt.
Belts have to come off. And if you are wearing a cute belted sweater dress, well, you might want to reconsider your travel outfit. That belt has to come off as you go through the metal detector, so it's just easier if you choose a belt-free outfit.

Flip around your necklace.
This one was news to me, but I only started wearing a necklace daily in November. If you're wearing a necklace with a pendant, flip it around so the pendant is in the back. That way, if the necklace does set off an alarm, it will be on your backside, so the security officer will wand you in the back, not the front.

BAGGAGE

Laptop out.
If you're bringing a laptop with you on your honeymoon, it has to travel separately through security. The charger and other electronics, such as a phone and iPad, can stay in your carry on. But the laptop has to come out. So make sure you have it accessible. Maybe stick it by itself in your purse. That way, when it is your turn, you can quickly place it in a bin instead of spending time digging for it at the bottom of your luggage.

Put liquids in a separate bag.
You're allowed to bring small liquids on the plane, as long as they are 3.1oz or smaller. So if you are bringing any in your carry on, put them in a separate quart-sized plastic bag (preferably one with a zipper top). Have it ready with your laptop, so when you take your laptop out for the X-ray, you can also grab your liquids. Efficiency is key.

Don't lock your carry on.
When you go through security, there might be a chance that your bag will need to be searched (like if you forgot you packed a full water bottle). Security will need to open your baggage. If it's locked, it's an unnecessary delay for them to wait while you find the key or enter the code. When you get to the gate, you can lock it there if you feel more comfortable, but I wouldn't do it earlier than that.

BONUS TIPS.

Remember your name.
If you're flying immediately after your wedding, and you plan on changing your last name after you get married, the chance of your name change going through before your trip is very slim. So remember to book your flight with your maiden name on the ticket. Your ID will still have your maiden name on it. Yes, I know, you will be super excited to be Mrs. New Last Name. And, when you're on your honeymoon, you can introduce yourself that way. But when you're at the airport, you have to be your old self for a while.

Be careful what you bring back.
If you're flying internationally, you'll have to go through customs on the way back. And that means filing out a customs form on the plane, declaring anything you purchased when you were away. So sure, maybe it seems like a good idea to pack fruit if you get hungry on the flight. And then it seems logical to declare it on your customs form if you never get hungry and don't eat it. But you may not be able to bring produce back in the country. And then you become me get detained at customs for declaring a banana on a flight back from Mexico. Learn from my mistakes and double check what you're able to bring back before you buy anything to bring back.

Always check your flight.
Every time I fly, I make sure to sign up for flight alerts. I get a call at specific intervals with any information: if the flight is on time, delayed, canceled, gate changes, etc. This helped me avoid a three hour delay in an airport once and it helped me to know about a canceled flight and be first in line for a flight change another time. If you book via a method that doesn't offer text or phone updates, check yourself. Go online and search your airplane carrier and flight number to get up to date information. You don't want an unknown (to you) delay to ruin the start (or end) of your honeymoon.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you fly often? What other tips do you have for couples preparing for their honeymoon flight?

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Check our Honeymoon Packing Checklist.

Wedding Toasts: Yay Or Nay?

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

We've all been to weddings. You're sitting at a table surrounded by people -- some of which you know, some you don't. You stick your fork into a piece of filet, and as you raise it to your mouth, you hear the sound of a glass clinking emanating from a nonspecific location. It starts with one, then three, then 12, then pretty soon everyone starts turning their heads aimlessly, trying to find where and who is about to make the next toast.

Oh toast, you are not just a delicious food item. You are not just a noun, but a verb. Yes toast, the old wedding tradition. Like many things in the world -- be it technology, film, literature, etc. -- the potential for good or bad lies within. It all depends on the person delivering it.

I think anyone who has been to a wedding can attest that toasts run the gamut from boring, mean, drunken, or spiteful to hilarious, engaging, nostalgic, or inspiring. With that being said, today's topic is: Wedding Toasts, yay or nay?

Wedding Toasts: Yay Or Nay?

When considering whether or not to even have a toast in the first place, I think several things need to be considered:

1. The couple.
Is either the bride or groom (or both of them) introverted? Shy? Sensitive and easily offended? If you answered "yes" to any of these, then you probably shouldn't even do a toast. The last thing you'd want to do is ruin the bride's special day that she's been dreaming about since she was a little girl. You'll never hear the end of it, and in her mind you'll always be the jerk who ruined her special day. If, however, you would actually like to have that title, then go ahead and bust out with a surprise toast, resplendent with dirty jokes and awkward, embarrassing stories.

2. The guests.
Think about the people who will be at the wedding, the best man and maid of honor in particular. Do they even feel comfortable giving a toast? In general, I don't think most people even want to do a toast. 

3. Willingness.
If nobody even wants to do a toast, don't force them. Keep in mind they may already be silently annoyed at themselves for agreeing to be in the wedding in the first place.

So if the couple has a sense of humor, aren't uptight or easily offended, and/or embarrassed, and you have a person willing to do a toast, then it's safe to proceed to consider if the person is someone who you think will actually give a good toast. Make sure you trust the judgement of the person you pick and that is someone you know will nail it in the way you want it nailed. Keep it short, sweet, funny, and engaging.

Asked to give a toast? You might want to check out this book for tips!

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are you planning on having wedding toasts at your wedding?

How To Entertain Kids At A Wedding

There's the big "Should we or shouldn't we" conversation when it comes to kids at a wedding. It's such a touchy situation. If you're one of the last of your friends to get married, your friends might already have kids. Or you might be the first one in your family to get married and all your cousins are young and you want them there.

It's hard, though. Kids don't really care about the toast and last call usually happens hours after their bedtime. So if you decide that yes, you will allow kids to come to your wedding, it's in your best interest to set up a few things to keep the kids entertained.

I put together a list of the top five ways to keep kids entertained at a wedding.

Hire a Babysitter

This is the first suggestion I give to every bride who asks me about kids at a wedding. Yes, a child is mommy and daddy's responsibility, but parents want a night out too ... especially if date night doesn't come often and your wedding has an open bar. You want the parents to have a good time and not have to worry about chasing Johnny all through the ballroom.

So let that be someone else's responsibility. Hire someone -- a friend of a friend, a coworker's age-appropriate child, your own babysitter -- and let the parents know that there will be someone at the ceremony and reception who will be responsible for the children during the day. I really stress that you hire someone who isn't a relative and wouldn't otherwise be invited to the wedding. You don't want to designate your mom as the wedding babysitter, even if she offers. You want your mother to enjoy the wedding, just as you want all the parents to enjoy as well.

Your cousin's next door neighbor won't mind missing the I Do's if that's the exact moment she has to chase a loose toddler, but your mom will.

Designate a "Child Zone" at the Reception

There's a good chance you will have a venue with an on-site coordinator. Sit down with him or her prior to your wedding and explain that you will have children there. Ask if there is an area that can be set up for kids only. Maybe there's a backdoor that leads to a lawn where you can set up a ball pit or a bounce house. Maybe there's a second bridal suite that you can turn into a playroom for the evening.

Work with the on-site coordinator to find this area and make sure it is child safe -- and far enough out of the way of the reception that if Johnny has a meltdown, it won't be overpowering the father-daughter dance.

You don't even have to set up such grand games. Try a ring toss, bean bag toss, an arts and crafts table. There's a good chance that the reception venue actually has a few things on hand. It never hurts to ask.

Have a Kid-Friendly Menu

It's no secret that children may get cranky if they're hungry. So make sure they eat. Most weddings have a pretty exotic menu compared to a child's pallet. Most kids would choose chicken fingers over shrimp cocktail, so make sure that some of your hors d'oeuvres are finger foods. I'm not saying serve mini pizzas, but if you only have mini crab cakes, you might have a little trouble.

Keep that in mind for the dinner as well. If your entree choices are the typical prime rib or salmon, you have to know if the kids are going to eat that. Maybe the chef can put together a couple grilled cheese sandwiches.

This is definitely something you have to arrange with the venue before the wedding day. Tell them the number of children that will be there and see what they can do. Also, there are a lot of venues that will charge a child's cost rather than the regular per plate cost (and you won't have to pay the per head alcohol cost for kids either). Be sure to square this away with the venue beforehand.

Create a Children's Goody Bag

As much as you think your wedding is the best day ever, a kid might disagree. If you expect children to sit quietly the entire time, you're mistaken. Kids need something to do -- and listening intently to the best man speech probably isn't it.

So put together a goody bag filled with kids toys: coloring books, bubbles, crayons, sand buckets (if you're on a beach), puzzles, notebook, pens. You get the idea. I actually checked out Amazon and found a couple really cute wedding-related kid's items.

• Individually Packaged Children's Wedding Activity Sets
• Wedding Treat Bags For Kids
• Tuxedo Bubble Bottles

If you don't feel like putting the kit together yourself, you can actually buy them pre-made:

• Ring Bearer Wedding Activity Backpack
• Flower Girl Gift Activity Backpack

Makes it a little easier when you are doing so many other things to prep for the wedding.

Have a Kids' Table

There's a good chance that if the kids are sitting with their parents, the parents will end up cutting the kids' food as their filet goes cold. That's horrible. Instead, have a table set up just for the kids and put the babysitter in charge of making sure they eat and that their food is cut. Let the parents enjoy the food in peace.

The kids will dance and hang out and when they're tired, they can just go back to the kids table with the other kids. They won't be going back to a table filled with couples (many of who might not have kids and don't want to be stuck sitting next to a child during the entire reception).

You can make this table very kid friendly too. Pick up children's placemats (I suggest this Wedding Party Paper Placemats for Children pack) and adorn the table with a kid-centric centerpiece (like the LEGO Mini Figure Set Wedding Bride Groom Table Decoration). Kids will see that and know that the LEGO table is the one for them, and the one with the huge glass vases and centerpieces is for the adults. It'll help them find their table and feel a little more comfortable.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other tips do you have to entertain kids at a wedding?

Outdoor Wedding Tips

We went to see a venue at the beginning of our wedding planing, and I fell in love with it. It was pretty shabby looking from the front, but once you got inside, oh my gosh. You were transported to a beautiful resort. You didn't feel like you were in North Carolina; it felt like some posh resort in Playa del Carmen.

I fell in love immediately.

Pete and I walked to the beach area where a wedding was already set up and I just started imagining our guests out there with the ocean as our backdrop.

We crossed the street (which I was a little bummed about but figured I would just deal) and were greeted by the outdoor dance floor. It was exactly like all the beautiful Pinterest photos I had seen. I just loved it.

Pete and I crossed the street again to go back to the tiki bar by the pool and discuss. We loved it ... but had some concerns. See, with an outdoor wedding, there are a lot of things you need to take into consideration that you don't when you're planning an indoor wedding. But you don't have to think about them. I've already thought about them for you.

Outdoor Wedding Tips

Plan for a hot day.
If you're planning a winter wedding, you're probably not going to have the ceremony outdoors. These types of venues are reserved for the other three seasons. And those other seasons can be hot. Really hot. When I was originally writing this up, it was a regular summer day, and it was nearly 100 degrees. I was sitting at the pool, so once the heat became unbearable, I could jump right in. But your wedding guests won't have that option (although, if I'm being completely honest, two of my bridesmaids jumped in the pool at our wedding. But most wedding guests won't do that).

So for an outdoor wedding, you really have to think about what you'll do on a hot day. For the ceremony, you definitely want to order wedding program fans. If it's hot, your guests will most likely be fanning themselves with anything that's handy, and that will most likely be your program. So plan for them and make your programs with handles.

Also, think about how your guests will stay cool during the reception. Is there an AC unit outdoors? Is there an indoor section of the venue where they can cool off? Is the venue's tent equipped with misters that your guests can walk under? The answer to one of these questions has to be yes. If not, you risk our guests getting heat stroke and needing to go to urgent care -- and no one wants an ambulance showing up to their wedding uninvited.

Plan for a rainy day.
Alanis Morissette was convinced that rain on your wedding day was ironic. But actually, it's just a pain in the neck. If you're planning a beach wedding ceremony ... and it rains, you need a back up plan. Where will you get married if there's a storm? Make sure your venue has a back up plan for a ceremony and reception, in case of bad weather. If the ceremony moves into the reception area, where will your guests go during the breakdown and set up? If the venue doesn't have a back up plan (and some don't), you need to find a different one.

You also have to ask if the venue will cancel your wedding due to bad weather. We went to a venue that had in its contract that any inclement weather or "acts of God," including hurricanes, could void the contract with no refund. So basically, if a tropical storm rolls through, the venue can call your wedding off and you don't get your money back. In that case, you need wedding insurance (yes that's a thing), but you also need a back up plan. Your guests are still planning to come, so you have to give them somewhere to be. If the venue can't help you come up Plan B, this is not the venue for you.

Keep your guests extra hydrated.
An open bar is great at a wedding, but if yours is outdoors, there's a good chance your guests will want water too. So make this something special for them. Have the wait staff hand out small water bottles with personalized labels to guests as soon as they enter the reception hall. Print something cute like, "Welcome to our wedding" on them and your guests will love them. At the end of the night, you can have a table with full-size water bottles with a matching label that says, "Thanks for coming." It's a nice way to say "drink some water" without actually shoving it down their throats.

Also, make sure water is an available beverage choice. I know, it sounds obvious, but when you choose your own caterer, you often need to hand select every item on your menu, and that includes beverages. If you don't ask for water, you might not get it.

Fill the venue with "extras" that your guests may have forgotten.
Some of your guests may not actually realize that your ceremony or reception (or both) is entirely outdoors, so they may not plan accordingly. Help them out. Create a sunscreen bar so they don't go home burned. Pick up cooling wipes (they actually work, believe it or not) and have them near your sunscreen basket. Pick up paper fans (if you don't do the program ones) and have them available.

Stay out of the sun.
You'll be standing for the majority of your wedding ceremony and the last thing you want to do is pass out before the "I Do." But with all the running around you'll be doing pre-wedding, you won't have time to eat or drink, which aids in your lightheaded-ness. Standing in the sun during the ceremony probably isn't a good idea. So don't.

Instead of flowers, hold a really pretty wedding parasol when you walk down the aisle. You can get one in white for you, and your bridesmaids can carry ones that match their dresses. Then, you can hold it open during the ceremony. You'll get more use out of it -- and you'll get a little shade too.

Choose your bridal party's attire appropriately.
With an outdoor venue, you have to worry about your bridal party. If it's an outdoor wedding in summer, don't force your bridesmaids to wear long, heavy gowns. If it's an outdoor wedding in winter, don't ask your girls to wear open toed shoes (because walking through snow with those is not fun).

For the groomsmen, think about just how hot a black tuxedo can get in the sun. Choose a lighter color, like khaki. And maybe do vests instead of a suit jacket. And a lighter shirt will be their friend (because you don't want sweaty pit stains in your photos for the rest of your life).

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other outdoor wedding tips do you have?

What You Need To Get Your Marriage License

Pete had an appointment to go to, so I took a ride downtown with him. I had about an hour to kill, so I decided to open Pokemon Go and look for Pokestops (because, yes, I ran out of Pokeballs and catching Pokemon without them is impossible). I didn't catch any Pokemon without Pete because it just didn't feel right, but walking around, getting steps, and collecting Pokeballs so we could play after his appointment sounded okay with me.

As I was walking, I passed the register of deeds where we got our marriage license. I remembered that I didn't even think about picking it up until a handful of days before our wedding, and then I freaked out worrying that we had waited too long.

We got to the registrar of deeds in time ... but Pete didn't have his social security card on him so we had to go back home and come back.

A slight hiccup, but one that could have been easily avoided. And you can avoid that. I'm here to help.

What You Need To Get Your Marriage License

• A spouse-to-be. You can start the application online in some states, but you and your spouse-to-be will each need to show up in person together to finish your application for a marriage license. 
• Identification. In each state, the requirements are different. In North Carolina, we needed a valid photo ID (like a driver's license or passport) and a social security card (or a form with our social security number, like a pay stub). If we got married in New York (where we're from), we would have just needed ID and proof of age. No social security card.
• Money. Yes, you have to pay for this. Each state charges a different amount. In North Carolina, we had to pay $60 -- half was for the fee and half went to North Carolina Domestic Violence programs.
• Time. Or not, actually. In New York, you have to wait 24 hours after your application is filed and your license is issued to get married. In Pennsylvania (where I used to live too), it was three days. In North Carolina, you can use it right away. So, you definitely want to look this up because you might not be able to apply and then turn around and get married. And if you wait until the last minute, you're in trouble. But, you're also in trouble if you go too soon. In many states, the license is only valid for 60 days. So if you go too early, you'll  have to start over (and pay again).
• Proof of a divorce/death, if you were married previously. Although, if we're being honest, if you were married before, you went through this before and you're probably not reading this list. But, just in case, if you've been married before and divorced or your spouse passed away, you need to bring proof of that.
• A reliable person to marry you. You'll have a priest marry you at a church, but you can go with an ordained minister if you choose to get married somewhere else. Choose who fits you best (and who is allowed by the state where you're getting married), but make sure they're reliable. That person usually will have witnesses sign your license, sign it after performing the ceremony, and then send it to the appropriate clerk so you can get your actual license in the mail. You need that, so make sure this person will send it off for you (or will give it to you to sign off).

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are you planning on taking the (what seems to be, anyway) obligatory photo with your marriage license? 

How To Prepare For Your Wedding Kiss #MyBoldMoments

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MyBoldMoments #CollectiveBias

There's a scene in The Wedding Singer where the bride-to-be is worried about her upcoming nuptials. Not the wedding, but the kiss. How do you kiss at a church, she wonders. The dialogue is comedic, but there's a truth in it. You've kissed your fiance hundreds of times, but never in front of all your family and friends and a minister. It's nerve wracking.

You have so many other things to think about when you're wedding planning. How, exactly, to get ready for that big smooch is another item on your wedding to do list. But don't worry. I've got you covered.

How To Prepare For Your Wedding Kiss

I put together a fun post to help you prepare for your wedding kiss. Oh sure, it's a little tongue in cheek, but ... here's some advice: Don't kiss on your wedding day with your tongue in your cheek. That's not gonna work. These tips will.

Do: 
Brush your teeth. This is a no brainer people. You have to brush your teeth. But you also want to brush your tongue too. That's where all your bad breath lies.

Don't:
Eat garlic the morning of your wedding. Or, really, anything particularly fragrant. Not that you'll have time to eat much but if you do, avoid stinky foods. No garlic. A tuna fish sandwich on an onion bagel is probably not the best idea. Opt for foods that are mild.

Do: 
Floss. I'll be honest: Flossing is not my favorite activity, but it helps remove all the junk that gets between  you're teeth where your toothbrush can't go. And anything you can add to your oral care routine to keep your mouth healthy gets a thumbs up from me.

Don't:
Suck on brightly-colored hard candy. Have you ever been licking a lollipop, only for it to turn your entire tongue blue? It's funny ... but it's not so funny when you're getting ready for your wedding kiss. You don't want that in all your photos. Anything that might dye your teeth or could get stuck in your teeth (like poppy seeds, spinach, etc.) should be off limits.

Do:
Use LISTERINE® mouthwash. A little mouthwash can go a long way. See, brushing misses 75% of your mouth, but LISTERINE® Antiseptic cleans virtually 100% and kills 99.9% of bad breath germs. Having a clean mouth may help you be "Confidently Bold," which is just how you want to be on your wedding day when you're kissing in front of everyone you know.

Keep this handy on your wedding day too because kissing doesn't stop with the one after the "I do." Photographers will be asking you to kiss all day, as will your guests (tapping of glasses or ringing of bells means "Kiss!"). Having LISTERINE® mouthwash handy for after the cocktail hour and after dinner will keep your mouth clean. And using it is so quick, you can sneak off from the reception and come back fresh before anyone even realizes you are gone.

Everything you need to prepare for your wedding kiss can be found at your local CVS/Pharmacy. Some stores may even have a special LISTERINE® brand display making it really easy for you to find it. Mine didn't, but there was plenty on the shelf, so I didn't miss it.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other tips do you have to prepare for your wedding kiss?