Now that we're a month removed, and everyone is and was healthy, I can tell you something. We recently traveled to an indoor wedding. A wedding that had been postponed twice before taking place on the couple's third wedding date. And while I was there, I thought of what guests should know about attending a wedding during a pandemic.

And I figured I would blog about it, in case you have been invited to a wedding during a pandemic and you're unsure of what to do.

What Guests Should Know About Attending A Wedding During A Pandemic

You can RSVP no

Let's start with this. If you're invited to a wedding during a pandemic, you can RSVP no. We're at the tail end of a pandemic, one that has claimed many lives and gotten even more people sick. We've all said no to many things during this time that we didn't feel comfortable attending.

So if you don't feel comfortable attending a wedding right now, RSVP no.

The couple will understand. And honestly, the couple might be happy to get your no.

See, many venues and states have capacity limits right now. And that 200 person guest list may have quickly turned into a 100 person max because of social distancing and capacity limits. So a no may feel painstakingly difficult for you to say, but it may actually do the couple a favor.

And, if you say no, don't feel guilty.

Don't, for one second, feel bad about not attending a wedding during a global pandemic.

Everyone is living this pandemic day by day and deciding on situations as they occur. We're all doing our best.

Case and point: We were invited to my very good friend from college's 2020 wedding. We wanted to be there for her and to see her special day, but the wedding was in New York and North Carolina was travel banned at that time. So if we wanted to attend, we would have had to fly to New York, fill out some paperwork on the plane, quarantine for two weeks in New York, then attend the wedding.

As much as we wanted to go, we couldn't under those restrictions. But now, there's no travel ban, so we were able to fly up north for the wedding last month.

And, even though we weren't able to go to that wedding in 2020, we didn't feel like we also had to skip this 2021 wedding. Everything at this time is a case by case basis. There's no standard.

My friend understood why we missed her wedding last year and didn't hold it against us. We're still friends.

Skip any unnecessary gatherings before the wedding

The world is starting to reopen. Last week, mask mandates outside were lifted here in North Carolina. Next month, capacity restrictions are ending.

Which is great. The world needs to open and businesses need to get back to business.

However, if you have a wedding to attend in the next two weeks, skip any unnecessary gatherings. Keep going to work because you need to, but skip happy hour after. Even if it's outside, and even if it feels safe. It's not worth the risk.

Plus, you know, at this point in the pandemic, we've all learned how to have happy hour at home, by ourselves, and with our pets. Pretend its March 2020 and just do that again for a couple weeks. You'll be fine.

You should wear a mask

The guidelines change so frequently, but one thing had been standard: You need to wear a mask when entering structures.

That's such a vague sentence, but the guidelines are so vague.

Some churches require you to wear a mask at all times, some only require you to wear it when you enter but not when you're in the pew.

Some venues require you to wear a mask at all times when you're not seated, some don't require it in the ballroom.

There are some states that still have a mask mandate, and some that don't. And some venues in those states require them even without a mask mandate, and some don't require them even in states that do have a mask mandate.

Honestly, it's confusing.

So your best bet is to just wear a mask. And then figure it out.

Better to wear a mask and be able to take it off than not wear a mask and not be able to attend.

And honestly, throwing a couple disposable masks in your purse might not be a bad idea too. You can lend them to people who forgot one or didn't think mask mandates were in place.

Keep your opinions to yourself

When you're at the wedding, try and keep conversations to anything but the pandemic and politics. Anything else is fine to chat about.

If you are pro-mask and see someone without one, just keep your opinion to yourself. If someone is having a conversation about vaccines, just walk away.

Pete and I like to say, "Right now, everyone knows everything and everyone knows nothing."

Guidelines, mandates, and restrictions are changing all the time. And they're different state by state, even city by city, we've realized. So whatever you think, just think it. Don't say it aloud.

A wedding is two people's happiest day of their lives. And the couples hosting weddings in 2021, they've had the extra stress of planning a wedding during a pandemic. Don't be the one to stress them out more and don't ruin their wedding by fighting over the pandemic or politics.

Make smart choices

You've gotten this far into the pandemic by making smart choices. Make those when it comes to attending a wedding too.

If you feel sick, stay home, even if you've RSVP'd yes and you're really looking forward to that filet mignon you ordered.

If you're really not feeling well, get tested. Don't just skip a test because you don't want to be positive and you don't want to miss out on the wedding. Better to stay home and keep everyone else safe rather than being selfish, attending the wedding, and get everyone else sick.

Know there are no right answers

When I was talking to my brother about attending this wedding recently, he told me that no matter what I do, people are going to have opinions.

But the thing with opinions is, they're just opinions. It doesn't make them the right decision or the wrong decision, it just makes them someone's opinion.

So keep that in mind. There are no right or wrong decisions here. You just have to make the best decision for you, stick to your convictions, and enjoy the wedding from the ballroom or from your couch via the livestream.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What else do you think guests should know about attending a wedding during a pandemic? Let us know in the comments.

What To Pack For An Overnight Wedding

More often than not, I've driven home after weddings. I don't drink, so it's no big deal for me to drive home at the end of the night. But there are the occasions where the wedding is far away and we have to stay overnight. That means packing a bag. If you're like me, you probably overpack and then end up not needing half the stuff in your suitcase. So I'm here to help. I put together a list of what to pack for an overnight wedding.

Even better, I actually made a free printable for you too. All you need to do is print it out, check off the items as you put them in your suitcase, and you'll have everything you need -- plus room for the welcome bags the couple is probably giving out.

What To Pack For An Overnight Wedding

Dress/Suit.
If you can leave early in the day and check into your hotel before the wedding, it means you'll probably also have time to get ready at the hotel. So you'll need to pack whatever you'll be wearing for the ceremony and reception.

Shoes/Socks.
If you're driving up, you probably won't be driving up in heels. So you have to remember to pack your shoes. And if you're a man, you'll need to pack your dress shoes and a pair of socks. Even if you don't need a pair for that day, you'll need them for the next day.

Flats/Sneakers.
I have a few pairs of really comfortable heels that I will wear all wedding long. And then I have some other shoes that are so cute, but halfway through the reception, I'm done with them. For weddings where I decide to wear those, I need to make sure to pack flats or flip flops. If you pack something like that, you can drive home in them the next day. If you don't, remember to pack flats or sneakers to drive home in.

Slippers.
I always want slippers when I'm in a hotel. You don't want to put your shoes on the bed, but you also don't want to walk barefoot around the room itself. So slippers are a must. Plus, they're just so cozy and who doesn't want to be cozy as often as possible?

Pajamas.
If you're going to sleep over, you're gonna need something to sleep in. So pack pajamas. In my worst cases of overpacking, I always pack a pair of long pajama pants, shorts, a tank top, and a sweatshirt. All for bed. Don't be like me. Instead, keep in mind that a hotel room has a thermostat so you can bring one pair of season-appropriate pajamas and be okay.

Underwear.
This is a given, although I feel like underwear are the most forgotten thing when you're packing for a quick overnight trip.

Bra.
Chances are, you're wearing a bra with your dress for the wedding. But, true story: on my wedding day, I didn't wear a bra. The dress fit just right. So the next day, when I showered and was getting picked up for church, I realized I didn't have a bra to wear. So now I make sure to always pack one, based on whatever type of dress I'm wearing.

Top and bottom (for the next day).
What are you wearing the next day? Whatever it is, you're gonna need to pack it. If not, you'll be wearing the outfit from the day before again.

Toiletry bag.
I have a travel bag where I keep a travel-sized version of everything I need for an overnight trip. Then, when it's time to go, I just put that bag in my suitcase or overnight bag. Quick rundown of everything you might want to keep in your toiletry bag at all times: makeup, makeup remover, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, conditioner, body wash/soap, brush, hair ties, bobby pins, hair spray, nail polish, and cotton swabs.

Card/gift.
Don't forget your card or your gift. You'll want to make sure you definitely have that with you.

Purse.
Your daily purse is probably not the one you're going to bring to the wedding reception. You probably have something cute and sparkly with a silver chain that only comes out on special occasions. Be sure to throw that in your suitcase or overnight bag or you'll have to wait for another special occasion before you can use it again.

Credit card (you used to book).
When you're checking in to your hotel, you may be asked for your name and the credit card you used to book the hotel. It may be different than the one you want to pay with, but they often want the credit card you booked with. So be sure to have that handy just in case or you may be in for a delay when you arrive.

The overnight wedding packing list above is formatted to fit on an 8.5x11 piece of paper (so a typical sheet of printable paper). Right click it to save it to your computer. When you need it, just print it. You can reuse it for every overnight wedding if you stick it in a paper sheet and use a dry erase marker to check off the boxes.

What else would you pack for an overnight wedding?

Why You Need To Invite Your Parents' Friends To Your Wedding

Here's a scenario I'm sure you've found yourself in: Your parents (or your fiance's parents) have added their friends to your wedding guest list.

It happens. It has happened in every wedding I've ever known of, so it probably happened at yours. A neighbor, a coworker, a friend who you may only know of in passing, ends up on the list. And you struggle with the idea of sending that person an invitation with a plus one and then paying for their plates. I know, in theory it doesn't seem like that big of a crisis, but when you have to cross off some people on your list to make room for people you hardly know, it seems so daunting.

But here's the thing: Your parents know them and this is who your parents are choosing to celebrate with.

Oh, of course, they're going to celebrate with you, and your family, and your new in-laws, and new family ... but your parents want their friends there too. They're happy and excited to see their little girl getting married and want to celebrate with people who will be happy and excited for them.

That's the truth of it, really. It's a big day for your parents too. They raised a child to be proud of, someone who is taking the next step in life. For parents, it's a big deal. All eyes will be on you and your new spouse because it is your day after all. But, in part, it's your parents' day too. And they want to be happy with people who will be happy for them.

And you have to respect that.

It's hard and can be a battle, but it's not one worth fighting. If you really want a band at your wedding but your mom prefers a DJ, fight that. If you want an outdoor ceremony but your fiance's mom wants a church ceremony, fight that too. But if your future father-in-law has a couple coworkers he wants to invite, just send the invitations. There's a good chance they won't come and you'll be off the hook anyway. But, there's also a good chance of a lot of tension during the wedding planning if you don't invite them.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are your parents adding their friends to your wedding guest list?

Would You Send A Bill To Wedding No Shows?

There's a story that has gone viral recently about a woman who received a bill for a wedding she did not attend. The short version of the story is that her mother said she couldn't babysit last minute and the couple, who had already RSVP'd yes, was a no show for the wedding.

I've had three people send it to me and ask my opinion. Running a wedding blog doesn't make me the authority on wedding etiquette, but I'm a pretty decent and logical person, which is what you need to be in a situation like this.

Let's start out with a bit of reality. Your wedding is a ceremony to bind together you and your fiance. It's not a fund raiser. Your guests give you gifts to help you start a new life together. They are not obligated to give you money.

Where I grew up, it's customary for your guests to "pay for their plate." You sort of figure out how much the couple paid for your dinner, and you write them a check to cover that and stick it in a card. But just because that's customary doesn't mean it's required.

When we got married, almost all of our guests traveled from New York to North Carolina to celebrate with us. It was so important to me to make our wedding an "event" not just a five hour thing. I really wanted to thank our guests for traveling all the way here to celebrate our big day with us, so we invited every guest to our rehearsal dinner at a local park, catered with an amazing southern BBQ meal. I wanted to give our guests a taste of what we have down here (since North Carolina BBQ is so different than other BBQ). We picked a reception venue on the beach because we basically live at the beach now so I wanted our guests to experience that.

Our oceanfront venue was way more per head than I had originally wanted to pay. But that was my choice. I didn't expect our guests to give us a bigger gift because I decided I wanted to pay a premium for a beach venue and shrimp and grits.

Honestly, I didn't even expect gifts at all. Almost everyone had to travel; almost everyone had to pay to spend a few nights in a hotel; almost everyone was way more generous than Pete and I could have ever dreamed of.

Did we have wedding no shows? Yes. We had one couple (from New York) that texted Pete at 11pm the night before our wedding to say they weren't coming. We had another couple (one of our few local couples) just not show up at all. No call, no show. The type of thing that gets you written up at your job.

We didn't send those couples a bill for not coming. Yes, we had to pay for them, but we were always planning on paying for them. We were never expecting them to pay for themselves. We invited people based on what we could afford, not based on what we thought we would get in return.

If you invite someone and they don't show up when they said they would, you can get mad. You can rant and rave to your husband, your best friend, or your cat. But you absolutely can't send a bill to the couple that doesn't show, just like you can't send a bill to a couple that gives you a gift that's less than you expected. Instead, invite people expecting their presence to be their present and be very happy that they gave you their time. It's worth more than an extra zero on a check.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you think it's okay to send a bill to wedding no shows?

Heading to a wedding soon?
Check out our post on How To Be A Good Wedding Guest.

How To Be A Good Wedding Guest

Pete is a really good wedding guest. He just enjoys himself and has a great time. He's just one of those guests that you know is having a good time at your wedding, which sort of makes all your other guests want to have a good time too. So, I was thinking about it. We've written a post about how to be a good bridesmaid, but I never wrote a post on how to be a good wedding guest ... until now. Here are five quick tips on how to be a good wedding guest.

How To Be A Good Wedding Guest

Dance.
I don't care who you dance with: yourself, the flower girl, the mother of the groom, the bride, your husband, your friend's husband. Whoever it is, just get the party started. It's such a shame when the couple paid for a band or DJ and the dance floor is left empty. That happened at a wedding I was at once with my friend (who was my last minute date when my actual date got sick at the last minute). We weren't going to sit in our seats just because everyone else was. So we danced. A lot. The wait staff danced with us when none of the other guests would.

Honestly, I have no rhythm. You won't see me on So You Think You Can Dance any time soon. But I like to dance. Quick, slow, Cupid Shuffle. Whatever. I just have fun with it. And if you do, other guests will too and the dance floor (and maybe even your dance card) will be full.

Eat and drink.
We had an open bar and kept it open during our full five-hour reception. Being a number cruncher, I figured that if each of our guests had one drink an hour, we would "win" (meaning, we would be paying less by paying per hour than per drink). If each guest had less than one drink an hour, the venue would win (so we would be paying more by paying per hour than per drink). I mentioned this to my good friends who were coming and they all assured me they would drink more than one drink per hour. And they did. I was so happy because we paid for an open bar. I wanted our guests to take advantage of it.

I felt the same way with the food. We had plenty of food, and our guests ate it. As a bride, that made me happy too. The couple is paying for you to eat (at the cost of around $100 or $150 per person). If you went out to dinner and it cost you $150 a person, you would lick your plate clean. So please, respect the couple's money and eat your food.

And, just a small note: If you're at a plated reception and can't finish your meal, you can ask for a to go box to take your leftovers home.

Congratulate the couple.
The bride and groom are the only people at the wedding who know every single guest. So, of course, they are going to be really busy talking with everyone. But be sure you at least get a chance to say congratulations to them at least once. If a couple has a receiving line, this is easy. But if they don't, make sure you stop for a moment to say congratulations and tell the couple how beautiful the wedding is. And, if you get a chance to see them again, ask them if they need anything. The couple may be having trouble getting to the bar for a glass of water, and you could be the savior.

Take part in the activities.
The couple takes a lot of time to plan every single wedding detail. You, as a guest, should try to appreciate that -- and take part in every part of it. If there's a photo booth, do it. If the couple has a video guest book, leave a message. If they have a traditional guest book, sign it. If, like at the wedding I was at this weekend, there are mustache temporary tattoos, put one on and take a photo. The couple picked these things to make sure you have a good time. So definitely take part in them.

Bring a card.
We don't show up anywhere empty handed. It's just part of being a good guest. If we are going to your house for dinner, there's a good chance we will bring beer and dessert. When you go to a wedding, you should bring something as well. Up North, it's traditional to bring a card and check. In the South, I see more people bringing boxed gifts (registry items, perhaps). But you don't have to bring a gift, just like you don't have to write a check large enough to cover your plate. Your guests are inviting you because they want to celebrate their big day with you, not because they want your money. So, even if you can't afford a gift, you can still go to someone's wedding. But you need -- absolutely need -- to bring a congratulations card. You can pick up wedding cards for $.99 at the local drugstore. Heck, you can even get two for a dollar at the dollar store. But please, don't show up without a card.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other tips would you tell someone how to be a good wedding guest?

Heading to a wedding?
Don't forget to read our Wedding Guest Purse Essentials post.

Wedding Guest Purse Essentials

There's an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the entire gang is at a funeral Robin is basically Red from Shawshank Redemption. She's the person who has what you need -- and if she doesn't have it, she can get it.

And I think wedding guests need to pack their purses with that same mentality. Don't pack for what you might need; try and anticipate what the bride might need. Now, honestly, giving a wedding emergency kit to the bride is an easy way to solve this. But you still need to pack a few essentials in your purse.

What are those essentials? Don't worry. I got you covered.

Wedding Guest Purse Essentials

• Driver's license (Even if you're not driving. If you are drinking, the bartender will need to check your ID in order to serve you.)
• Cash (to tip that nice bartender who just made you feel young by checking your ID, plus to tip your server and if there is a valet driver)
• Lipstick (After you eat and drink, you'll probably want to reapply. Plus, it gives you an excuse to head to the bathroom and chat with your gal pals.)
• Car keys (Somehow you're gonna have to get home at the end of the night.)
• Flats (I love to pack something like Dr. Scholl's fast flats or flip flops.)
• Sole Serum (Seriously, this is my new necessity if I plan on dancing at all at a wedding. It heels your foot pain before it even happens. Read my full review here.)
• Aspirin (This is the one thing I needed at our wedding reception that the venue wasn't able to give me so now I always carry it for the bride. Go with something like these Advil 2-count packs because you don't really want to carry a full bottle.)
• Cell phone (so you can take photos, get the cute single guy's number, whatever.)
• Card (Don't forget your gift!)
• Feminine products (Even if you don't personally need it, someone will need this. Trust me. If you take this out of your purse at the start of the reception and just leave it in the bathroom, I guarantee you it will be gone before the end of the night.)
• Band Aids (This is one of those things that I always have in my purse, never use myself but never have at the end of the night because someone always needs a Band Aid.)
• Tissues (It's a wedding; you're gonna cry -- or someone is going to need to blow their nose, or you're gonna have that one bite of food that just takes awful and you need to spit it out somewhere.)
• Hair tie (I always carry an emergency hair tie with me ... and someone with a hair emergency always finds me.)
• Oil absorbing sheets (These are good to have so you don't look shiny in all those wedding photos people are taking -- that you will probably never see, honestly.)

BRIDAL BABBLE: What are your wedding guest purse essentials?

Why You Should Have No Exes At The Wedding

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Fellas PLEASE! No exes at the wedding! Sounds crazy right ... or at least it should sound crazy. I mean, obviously, common sense, right? But believe it or not I know guys who actually tried to do this. For those of you, who don't possess common sense, this post is for you. Okay, so just picture this ...

You dated some female back in the day, and although it didn't work out, she's tons of fun, "totally cool," and "cool to drink beers with." The two of you didn't work out, but she's an awesome friend, like one of the guys, ya know? And since she's such a cool bud, you could totally invite her to your wedding, right? Hell no you dumb idiot. She your EX! Yeah, she's your friend so you're just treating her just like the rest of your friends, and you're inviting all of your other friends to the wedding so what's the problem right?

Alright let's just stop right there. I assume anyone with a pulse and eyes that work well enough to read that can see what the problem is here, right? If not, you probably shouldn't be getting married and/or reproducing anyway. So please do the world a favor by NOT contributing your doofy DNA to the global gene pool.

In all honestly though, I get it. I can see both sides, but the only side that matters is the one that's right. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay, I know, the two of you broke up a long time ago, and she's a totally cool person. You may even still see her at the local bar from time to time and speak cordially. Maybe you have a few innocent laughs as the two of you reminisce on some silly old memories. But the bottom line here is that there is no way it is ever okay to invite an ex to your wedding. I'm speaking to you too ladies. I've met several females who are brain dead on this topic too.

I will now explain why by using the following visual to prove my point: Think about this guys. How would you like it if your wife-to-be decided to put ol' Mr. Bum-Ass-Has-Been on the guest list. You know, that dude she dated right before you, that clown you know for a fact has seen and enjoyed her in the most private of ways. Okay. Now imagine this guy sitting in the crowd during your wedding ceremony, straight across from you, and right in the center, front row, his sights fixed on the two of you as you recite your vows (either at a church, courthouse, bank of a river, whatever). Now imagine him looking at the woman you're about to marry, picturing her naked in his mind, because that's exactly what he'd be doing. And the picture he's seeing is damn near 100% accurate. Remember, he's seen the goods. Now picture how you'd feel in that moment, knowing that. Feels uncomfortable, right? Maybe you imagine yourself lunging into the crowd and dragging this guy outside by his neck tie, calling a cab, and sending him home? Who knows. The point is it would be an extremely uncomfortable, awkward, and generally anger-inducing situation.

So fellas, (and ladies, I didn't forget you) just avoid all the aggravation, the shouts of "What are you freaking kidding me?! Really?! Invite your ex!? You're so much dumber than I thought you were!" from your wife-to-be, the fights, and exercise a little common sense. Leave your exes in the past where they belong.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you agree with this no exes at the wedding rule?

Tips For The Perfect Wedding Guest List

Creating a guest list can be really tricky. It's hard to figure out who needs to be on the list, who should be on the list, and who doesn't make the cut.

Before we started planning our wedding, we put together a guest list. We based it off our engagement party list, so it was pretty easy for us. But if you would ask me now, I would tell you to choose your venue before your guest list. Even without putting one on paper, you'll have an idea of how many guests you'll probably invite. Carry that estimate with you to venues. If you find a venue that you are absolutely in love with and find out its max capacity is 100 people , it's much easier to create a guest list of 120 and stop there because that list will give you your perfect venue's capacity rather than to create a list of 130, then find a venue that only holds 100, and try to figure out which ten people are getting the bump.

Trust me on this.

And you can trust me on a few other things too. Below, I have a list of tips for the perfect wedding guest list. If you follow these rules, it'll make your life so much easier.

Tips For The Perfect Wedding Guest List

1. No exes at the wedding.

I don't care how close you are with your ex. Maybe you send Christmas cards or maybe you're just Facebook friends. Either way, exes at a wedding don't work. Even if they just come as friends.

Let me tell you a little story about "just friends." I had a best friend. Let's call him Jack (because that's not his name and I guess you're supposed to protect people when you tell a story about them on the Internet). Jack was my very best friend in the whole world. We dated briefly ten years before this story happened, broke up, lost touch, got back in touch, and just had the kind of friendship that movies are made of. We never went on dates, never held hands, never kissed. It was just a very good friendship where he would come over to clean a parking violation sticker off my car window and I would go with him when he went to get tattooed. When I was in the relationship I was in before Pete, Jack was with me through the ups and downs. He promised me we would be best friends forever and he would go to my wedding "even only as a guest." Which is a weird thing to say to someone you're completely platonic with. Except, well, his feelings weren't. He was my very best friend and I was the person he was in love with. Awkward.

When I started dating Pete, Jack was crushed (which was odd to me until I realized he was in love with me) and stopped talking to me. I didn't have to worry about leaving him off the guest list and making up an excuse. But really, the simple thing is: No exes at the wedding. It's just messy, even if you can't see that right away.

2. Let your parents invite their friends, but only if you know them.

Your wedding is a celebration, and it's also one for your parents. Their kid is getting married. They're super happy and want to celebrate with their friends, just as much as you do. And they should be allowed to. Let them invite their friends. Chances are, you probably grew up with those people in their lives and their kids are your non-blood family.

But what about your dad's friend, Jim from Accounting. Have you met Jim from Accounting? If not, then no. Jim doesn't get an invite. There's not much more awkward than standing on your receiving line and having someone you don't recognize coming up to you saying, "Congratulations. What a beautiful ceremony. You look like such a happy couple. Oh. By the way. I'm your dad's friend. Jim. From Accounting."

Yes, your parents will want to invite people and that's okay. But if you haven't met them before the invitations went out, it's okay to cut them.

3. When you do make a list, keep in on Google Docs.

I am absolutely obsessed with Google Docs for weddings. It's so helpful. Everything is saved on Google Drive, which means you can access it from any computer at any time. If you have a Microsoft Word document with your guest list saved to your hard drive ... and then your laptop crashes, your guest list is gone.

True story. From my wedding planning.

Through our entire wedding planning process, anything that could go wrong did go wrong. It was a really good learning experience and has definitely helped me problem solve for brides and anticipate what could happen. But really, losing my laptop with our wedding guest list saved on it ... that happened to me. So go with Google Docs. You can access it from anywhere and you can share the documents with anyone too. It's awesome.

4. Invite those out of town relatives who you know won't make it.

When you're making your guest list, you have to account for the fact that some people just won't be able to make it. The almighty "they" says about 25% of your guests will say no if it's a local wedding; 50% if it's a destination wedding. You "over-invite" based on that fact. But people who you know won't make it, it's okay to invite them. I mean, don't invite everyone you ever met because that looks like you are fishing for gifts. But your great aunt who lives in Florida and doesn't travel, you can invite her. Sometimes, people just like to know that you're thinking of them. Sometimes, people just like to be included.

5. Don't feel obligated to invite people, just because they invited you.

If your college buddy got married seven years ago and you went to the wedding but haven't really talked to that friend in the last five years (besides a like or two on Instagram), don't invite them. You don't have to invite people.

A few years ago, my mom and I were the "last minute" people at someone's wedding. You know, the people who you ask last minute to fill seats. Some people are really honest about it; others feel bad and tell you the invite must have gotten lost in the mail but it's in three days and are you free? So when we were creating our list, I was wondering if I had to invite those people since I did go to their wedding. The answer was no. They didn't make it onto our guest list. I didn't ... and honestly, I don't know if those people actually even know I got married.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What are your tips for the perfect wedding guest list?

Travel Bags (The Beginning)

As I mentioned yesterday (when I was talking about my logistical nightmare), all our guests are going to be from out of town.

It's customary to have a wedding welcome bag for each family that travels in from out of town. With us having 150 to 200 guests, realistically, that's somewhere between 70 and 100 bags. That can get pricey.

So I'm planning already. At least, I'm trying.

So far, I have a small army of hair products. Not really enough to make a dent in what I need, but it's a start.

I have five TRESemme shampoos and conditioners (both 2oz) from when TRESemme was free at CVS in January. I have four John Frieda hair sprays because John Frieda hair products were free at Walmart. That's it. I have four full sets and one that would be full if I could assure that the bag was going to a single man. But I can't guarantee that.

In a way, it could be daunting to look at know that I only have four complete sets, but in a way, I'm happy to know I already have four complete sets. I'm being a glass half full kind of gal.

I already know that I'm going to put in books from the area and a map of downtown. I met a woman at a bridal expo who told me where I can get those -- and that they're completely free, even if I need 100 of each.

I was on A Bride On A Budget's Facebook page and I asked what people thought was ideal to put in travel bags for guests. You can read the full post here, but I wanted to highlight a few of my favorite ideas below.

Joy said: A wedding I just went to had a list of the best places to eat, best bars to hit up, local attractions & things to do & they were personalized for younger people, older people, families with kids ect.

Mallory said: A post card from the town your having it in. Punch a hole in the corner and attach it to the bags. We wrote a quick thank you on it. 

Linda added: My SIL had a mini Burt's Bees sampler, assortment of LUSH soaps and a special ornament ready for me when I visited her over the holidays. It was such a nice surprise and I can think of her every time I see the ornament. 

One of the biggest tips came from Amanda. She said: I work in a hotel and a lot of people drop off a box of bags with small packs of candies, map quest directions, bottled water, and a list of things to do in town along with the best places to eat. Don't forget to leave extra, we run out almost every time because someone usually just shows up that wasn't planned. Plus, the desk clerks like being remembered since handing those out aren't usually in our job description and it takes a lot of extra time and coordinating on our part. We don't mind it, but it is nice to know we are appreciated ... It never hurts to ask the staff if they will, all the ones I've worked at do it free of charge as a thank you for having your guests stay with us.

I've got a lot of stocking up to do, but I do have a lot of time. We're looking at next summer, so I've got a solid 15 months to coordinate these bags (and hope that some nice company happens to find this blog and wants to donate some items for the bags. Hey, wishful thinking never hurt anyone right?).

BRIDAL BABBLE: What would you fill bags for out of town guests with?

Want to see our finished wedding welcome bags?
Check out our final wedding welcome bags post.

No Ring No Bring?

Have you heard of the "no ring no bring" wedding concept?

It's basically saying, "If you are not engaged or married, you don't get a plus one on your invite."

As a way to combat turning your wedding into a hook up for your single friends -- and making it so large you can't afford to pay the bill at the end of the night (which is more or less the real reason for this) -- you can invoke the no ring no bring rule.

The rule basically stats: If you like her enough to want to bring her to the most special day of my life, well, you shoulda put a ring on it.

I feel like the entire concept has to have some sort of asterisks to it. Like, if you're in the bridal party you should automatically get a plus one because you've spent so many dollars and hours on the wedding, the least the couple can do is allow you a second plate of food. And since you can't eat two plates, you can bring a guest.

And if you have a common law marriage but no interest in a paper marriage, you should be able to bring your other half. And if you're in a serious relationship, you should be able to bring that person too. The way things have gone lately, most couples live together before getting engaged. So a no ring, no bring policy would mean leaving the live in significant other at home.

But where does it stop? Where does it become tacky and offensive to your guests? Or is it always offensive?

Although, if you are offended and boycott the wedding -- as I have seen happen -- that does free up room for someone else, and helps keep the count low, which is a way to combat costs, which is what the couple was going for.

Personally, we didn't do this. If you were absolutely single with no prospects on the horizon, you were invited alone. But if our guests were dating someone, our guests got a guest. It wasn't up to me to place value on someone's relationship. If you had someone you were dating to bring, you could bring them. And if you were traveling to our wedding and didn't know anyone else who was coming (forcing you to travel and spend the weekend away alone), we gave you a guest too.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What do you think?