What You Need To Know About Your Save The Date Post Cards

Save the date post cards are really popular. They're generally a bit more budget friendly than save the date cards because there are less components (you don't need envelopes and you only need half the amount of paper when compared to a folded saved the date card). Stamps are also cheaper for save the date post cards -- and believe me, wedding postage adds up.

Lydia (who you may remember from these amazing bridesmaids boxes) told me she ordered save the date post cards. Initially, I was super excited. I mean, anytime someone takes a step in wedding planning, I get excited.

How could I not be thrilled? Her save the dates are beautiful. Lydia and her fiance Deon look so incredibly happy in that photo. They are absolutely glowing. And the fact that she is wearing white and he's in black, it's casual wedding attire. Bits like that are so perfect when you're taking engagement photos, so keep that in mind. (She told me after this post ran that the white and black was completely coincidental. I guess she's just that good.)

The glittered pink is gorgeous and goes really well with their fiesta-themed wedding. The save the dates and simultaneously simple and stunning. She really hit the ball out of the park on this one. So of course, initially, I was so excited for her.

And then I got worried. See, there's a concern no one takes into account when ordering save the date post cards.

But you can. Because I'm here. Here to help anyone who wants to send a save the date post card. Because I'm not saying don't send them. I actually really like them and think they're great for your stationery budget. I'm just saying keep this in mind.

What You Need To Know About Your Save The Date Post Cards

See, this is part of the email I sent Lydia when she showed me her save the dates (the part after I gushed about them being gorgeous):

Second of all ... don't hate me. When the post office mails them, they'll put a tracking sticker. We got a save the date post card once where the tracking sticker was on the bottom left on the backside of the post card, blocking all the information. You have info in the same place (the phone number of the hotel and the following text).

But at that point, her save the date post cards were already in her home. All she could do was address them and cross her fingers.

(I should mention, quick, that I removed part of the information in some of these pictures. After "by calling" she put the hotel's phone number. And between the words "the" and "wedding", she put her and her fiance's last name's, since that information is necessary when calling the hotel. I blocked them out, though, to save Lydia from potential wedding crashers. I also blocked out her friends' addresses because no one likes unsolicited pen pals except me).

Her post cards started arriving at their destinations and one of three things was happening.

First, there was the dreaded sticker I worried about. You can see text sticking out from the left side, so the recipient knows something is there. He can easily pull the sticker off and read the text underneath. He'll still know how to call the hotel. And, worst case scenario, if the sticker pulls off a number or two, the recipient can just text Lydia and ask her what to do (and, honestly, a ton of people ended up texting us to get the hotel information for our wedding even though it was printed on our invitations, so be ready to field calls no matter how accessible you make the info).

Then there was the dreaded stamp. Same tracking reasoning as the stickers, but this time, it was printed right over the text. The phone number and last names dodged this bullet, but the hotel's name got mangled. You can read it if you know what it says, but it's a little bit of a pain. But again, wedding guests, just text Lydia. She'll get you where you need to be.

And then there's door number three. This time, there's no sticker. No dreaded lines. Just a nice postmark up top. I'm guessing the tracking sticker was on the other side somehow, but that speculation hasn't been confirmed.

This save the date post card is the best, obviously, because all the information is easily readable, but you can't guarantee that this is how they will arrive. So you have to be mindful when you're designing your postcards. Leave space at the bottom for the dreaded tracking and leave space at the top for a potential postmark. Basically, if you split the left side of your post card into quarters, focus on keeping your text in the second and third quarters and leave the top and bottom ones blank. It'll save you from worrying about how they might arrive (and if you're like me, you worry about anything so if you can put out a fire before it starts, it's worth it).

If you're looking for save the date post cards, you can check them out at Minted, Wedding Paper Divas, MagnetStreet, and Zazzle. And you can find Lydia at @lgtz85 on Twitter. Be sure to tweet her and tell her you saw her amazing save the dates on A Bride On A Budget.

Big thank you to Lydia for being so kind and sharing these with us and helping future brides plan out their save the date post cards.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Is this something you thought about when deciding on your save the dates?

Kisses From The Mrs. Wedding Craft (From A Starbucks Frappuccino Bottle)

I've really been in the mood for cold coffee ever since my mom visited last month and we got Japanese cold coffee. There's nothing like it.

When Pete and I were at the grocery store over the weekend, he grabbed me a Starbucks Frappuccino. It wasn't the same, but it was close. I saved the bottle afterwards because I just knew there was a craft in it somewhere. And then it hit me: A Kisses From The Mrs. wedding craft.

It was really easy to put together and, if you're a Starbucks drinker, it gives you an excuse to pick them up when you're shopping. You're not buying coffee, you're buying crafting bottles. Sounds good to me anyway.

These would be perfect to give to your vendors as a thank you gift. Whoever does your hair, makeup, alters your dress, those sort of people usually get a thank you, but wouldn't it be nice to give them something extra? This Kisses From The Mrs. bottle is perfect since the thank you is really coming from just you and not you and your groom. You could even add these to your bridesmaids' gifts too (I just wouldn't make it a full gift for your bridesmaids).

Kisses From The Mrs. Wedding Craft

What You'll Need:

• Starbucks Frappuccino bottle, 13.7oz.
• Hershey's Kisses, 9oz. bag
• Cardstock (in your wedding color)
• Pencil
• Felt pen
• Tape
• Scissors
• Strip of tulle (mine was 12-inches by 3-inches ... and flying away. I wanted to do this craft outside for a change of scenery and it was windier than I anticipated. As I tried to snap the photo, the wind blew the tulle. You can see it flying away in the top right corner of the photo. I had to chase it. Luckily, I have cat like reflexes and caught it before I had to run down four flights of stairs after it.)

What You'll Do:

Pull the labels off the bottle and wash it. Personally, I use a little olive oil and elbow grease to take off the sticky backing. Really. Put a bit of olive oil on a paper towel and scrub, hard, and the stickiness will come off. Be sure to wash and dry the bottle after.

Fill the bottle with the Hershey's Kisses. The 9oz. bag filled the 13.7oz. bottle perfectly, leaving one left over. Feel free to eat that one. Or don't. It's up to you.

Trace the Starbucks Frappuccino bottle cap, upside down, twice.

Cut out the circles. Tape one down to the top of the Starbucks Frappuccino cap (since you don't really want the logo showing).

On the second circle, write: Kisses from the Mrs.

Twist a section (in the middle) of the tulle to make it tight. Tape that to the circle you wrote on.

Tie it around the bottle's neck.

That's it.

I really love how this came out. I would absolutely love to get this as a thank you gift, so I definitely support you giving these out.

If you want, you could actually write "Kisses From The Almost Mrs." on them and give them out as bridal shower favors. That would definitely be cute (and would give you a good excuse to drink a hefty amount of Starbucks).

BRIDAL BABBLE: Who would you give Kisses From The Mrs. favors to?

How To Be The Perfect Bridesmaid (Follow this advice and your bride will thank you)

A few days after I asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding party, my bridesmaid Allison sent me a message.

"Thank you for asking me to be a bridesmaid," she said. "I was shocked and it means so much to me. I don't know how to be one but if I'm supposed to be doing anything tell me."

It was such a cute reaction ... and honest too. If you've never been a bridesmaid before, you just don't know what to do. It's more than just buying a dress and standing next to the bride on her big day. But what exactly do you need to do to be the perfect bridesmaid? I have a list for you put together with the help of my wedding twin Kristiana (that's her and her bridesmaids in the photo below).

How To Be The Perfect Bridesmaid (Follow this advice and your bride will thank you)

Before The Wedding

1. Be available and involved.
I'm not saying sleep with your phone under your pillow so the bride can call you at 3am crying over envelope sizes. But if she calls you, call her back. Maybe it won't be for a few hours (yes, bridesmaids have their own lives), but don't ignore her and not call her for days. You are one of the most important people in her life and she needs you right now. Even if you don't really care about wedding welcome bags, just listen to her when she calls you to talk about them. Being there for her is so important.

And if her engagement is long, yes, it's a long time for you to be there for her. But try to stay involved. As Kristiana suggests, "Send her count down texts, post wedding things on her wall, talk wedding, show that you care and that you're excited for her to marry the love of her life! Having uninterested bridesmaids is a terrible feeling for the bride."

2. Be friendly with the other bridesmaids.
Facebook makes it so easy to keep in touch with people. Maybe you don't know the bride's other 'maids, but it's not that hard to reach out via Facebook and submit a friend request. Send one to the bride's mom too. Maybe you'll make a new friend out of it. And maybe you won't, but at the very least, you'll be able to send a group message to all the bridesmaids when you're wondering if you're going to do a group gift for the shower or not.

If you want to delete these people after the wedding is over, that's fine. If you don't like the other bridesmaids and never want to see them again, that's fine too. But during the wedding planning time, you will have to see and interact with these women. For the sake of the bride, just act friendly and keep any personal vendettas until after the bride has been happily married for 48 hours.

3. Start saving. Like right now.

When you say yes to being someone's bridesmaid, you have to remember that it's pretty expensive. At the bare minimum, you'll have to pay for your dress and shoes. The bride is already paying thousands of dollars for the rest of the wedding, you can't expect that she is going to pay for your dress too. There are also other wedding-related activities that cost money (bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.). As a bridesmaid, you're pretty obligated to show up to the shower, although the bachelorette is a little more volunteer. These things cost money. So does getting your hair/nails/makeup done for the wedding. 

If something happens (you lose your job, Sally Mae comes knocking on your door looking for your student loan payments, etc.) and you can't afford something, tell the bride. She is one of your best friends and will understand if you don't have the money to stay overnight in a hotel room after the wedding. She will do her best to work with you. Maybe she'll find a family member who has a couch that you can crash on that night; maybe she'll let you sleep in her apartment that evening. Whatever it is, she will work with you as long as you are honest with her.

4. Support all the bride's decisions, no matter what you really think.

It's not your wedding day. You are not the star of the show; you are the supporting cast. Don't like the five-inch heels the bride picked? Sorry honey, but you just better practice walking in them. You can hate them all you like, but don't tell the bride you hate them. Smile, pay for your heels, and then donate them to Goodwill the morning after the wedding. Whatever you do, do not complain to the bride about them. She has too many other things on her mind to worry about the height of heels that you feel most comfortable in. When it's your day, pick two-inch heels. Or sleeveless bridesmaid dresses. Or pink carnation bouquets. Or whatever choices you like best. But when you are the bridesmaid, you should really just support any decision the bride has made. She has spent months agonizing over things like centerpieces. When she finally decides on one, just tell her she made a great choice and ask if she needs any help assembling it. Don't tell her that a pair of starfish in the center of the table is dumb. Just make a mental note to not have them at your wedding if you hate them that much.

Kristiana says this a little simpler than me: "Don't complain. About anything. Not needed. Not necessary. Not appropriate. Don't like the beer and wine selection? Drink water. Hate the food? Too bad. Cake too sweet? Doesn't matter. Do NOT complain."

5. No means no. And yes means yes. There's no gray area.

If you ask the bride if she needs you to carry her bag and she says no, she's got it, do not try and grab the bag from her. If she wants you to carry her bag, she will ask you. And if she does, you carry that bag like it is the most important task ever to happen. And keep that in mind during planning also. If you ask if she needs help with anything and she says no, then no means no. Don't rattle off a list of things you can help with because, at that time, the bride may not be worried about those tasks. And don't take it to mean the bride doesn't need or want your help. She does. But at that point, she just might not need anything. Maybe she's studying for a test and isn't even planning the wedding that week. Don't worry. Next week, just send a text asking if there's anything you can do. That little text will mean the world.

At my rehearsal dinner, I couldn't eat. I just didn't have time. I made a plate of food at one point, but with 100 people to say hello to and entertain, plus a caterer to juggle, it was impossible. At the end of the night, my bridesmaid Gionna came up to me to see if I needed anything. "Yes," I said. "Can you make me a plate of food with some pulled pork, two rolls, and two pieces of corn." She didn't ask if I also wanted salad or butter or ribs or chicken. She just said no problem and returned with exactly what I wanted. It was absolutely perfect. Be that perfect bridesmaid.

At The Wedding

1. Don't make this about you.

When you get married, the spotlight will be on you. But as a bridesmaid, you are not the center of attention. You are someone who may get blurred out in some of the photos. That's just the reality of it. Embrace your sideline roll. Enjoy it. Don't, for any reason, try to put yourself front and center. Don't sulk in the corner so people come your way. Don't decide you're going to grab the mic and sing a solo without the bride knowing. If it is really important to you to sing a song at the wedding, ask the bride. Don't just all of a sudden run to center stage to belt out Etta James' At Last. There is no reason all eyes should be on you, except when you're walking down the aisle before the bride gets there. Other than that, one of your main tasks is to blend in, not stand out.

The groom, that's different. If he gets drunk and wants to sing a song for the bride, that's something they'll laugh about six months or six years from now. The drunk bridesmaid? No.

2. Dance. Mingle. Have fun.
I remember being on the dance floor at our wedding and Allison was dancing. We were at a mutual friend's wedding about nine months before and Allison refused to dance with me. But here she was, at my wedding, dancing. I was so excited that I had to say something. "You told me at Jessica's wedding that I had to dance at your wedding," she said. Accidental threat? Oops. But it does come with the territory. When you're a bridesmaid, you have to help get the party started. If there's a conga line, you need to be on it. If you're single and the bride is going to throw the bouquet, you have to try and catch it. Just be involved and have a good time at the party. If you see someone sitting alone, grab them and bring them to the dance floor. Dance with the ring bearer. Cha cha with the groom's grandpa. Whatever it takes to be involved and help the guests have a good time, do that.

3. Ask the bride if she needs anything.
Every once in a while, check on the bride. Find her and ask her how she's doing and if she needs anything. If she asks you to grab her a glass of water from the bar because it's impossible for her to get there without getting stopped by thirty people, then you walk to the bar and get her a glass of water. Don't stop to talk to anyone. Don't get distracted. Just get her a glass of water and come back to her with it. And if she asks you for an aspirin because her feet are killing her, you ask every guest until you find a pair of aspirin for the bride. Bring them to her with a glass of water.

From Kristiana: "Make sure the bride drinks water. Make sure her dress straps are straight in case they start to fall. Fix a curl that's caught in the veil. Make sure that any to-go food prepared by the caterer is not stolen by a wedding guest. Being a bridesmaid doesn't stop after the ceremony."

4. Smile.
Your friend is getting married. This is one of the happiest days of her life. And you should be happy for her. As Kristiana put it: "Your friend is getting married!" It's true. One of your best friends is getting married. You absolutely should be happy for her. So look happy. There's nothing that ruins photos like non-smiling faces. Trust me. I can tell you that from experience. I was looking at my photos where my face is resting and those pictures just aren't as nice as the ones where I'm smiling the whole time. And it was my wedding. I was happy. But no one reminded me to smile. So we are reminding you. Smile. Smile smile smile.

5. Stay to clean up.
At the end of the night, the guests tend to just vanish, leaving the bride and groom all alone to help break down centerpieces, collect leftover favors, and pack them somewhere. Yes, the venue usually has someone to do this, but the bride and groom need to be there to carry things away. Don't linger and don't ask the bride if she wants help (she will say no). Just. Help. Stay around and find out who is in charge of breakdown. Ask them where you can pitch in and do it. The bride will forever be grateful that you were around to help her until the very last moment.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other tips would you add to help someone be the perfect bridesmaid?

What Exactly Is Pre-Cana? (And answers to all your other marriage prep questions)

I grew up Catholic, going to church every Sunday, and it became something that was really important to me. So of course, there was never a doubt that I was going to be married in a church. I knew that meant we would have to take Pre-Cana classes but, honestly, I didn't even know what that meant.

I tried googling, but there wasn't really any comprehensive post about what Pre-Cana is, so I figured I would put one together. Plus, I have a long list of questions answered at the end. Now, just for the record: This is all based on our Pre-Cana experience. I don't work for a church and I'm not associated with any Pre-Cana programs.

What exactly is Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana, if that term is completely unfamiliar to you, is pre-wedding preparation that must be completed prior to getting married in the church. Most churches will refer to it as Pre-Cana, however some diocese have adopted the a more modern term "marriage prep."

Small aside: Cana was the location of the wedding feast where Jesus turned water into wine. That's where the name Pre-Cana comes from.

Our Pre-Cana course was one full day, beginning at 9am and running until about 3pm. Many churches will split this over multiple days (as either a weekend retreat or just multiple sessions) or even require you to attend a course over a six-month period of time. Because of this, you need to check with your church to get the outline of its Pre-Cana course. That will help you set your timeline of when you need to get this done.

What do you do at Pre-Cana?

At the very core of it, Pre-Cana is a way for couples to open a dialogue and discuss topics that need to be discussed before getting married: fiances, children, faith, career, etc. These may be topics that you have already discussed, but I think they're ones that couples try to avoid. It's not very romantic to sit down with your husband and decide who is going to balance the checkbook for the rest of your lives. But it's something that you need to decide because if you both hate knowing how much money is in your bank account, or if one of you just spends until you get an overdraft letter to stop you, that's something that can cause a conflict in your marriage. Pre-Cana starts that dialogue for you.

Our Pre-Cana class was very structured. We all said our names, wedding date, where we were from, and our faith, and then we did a lot of listening. We were given a  "Together for Life" booklet and a "Fully Engaged" workbook.

There was an opening prayer followed by a theology of marriage clergy talk, given by the father of the church. We then had a workbook exercise on differences, division of labor, and family origin.

A married couple then came to give us a talk on finance, career, and stewardship. The man actually spoke about how he would ask for a women's credit score on their first date. It's the sort of question that would cause me to not have a second date with a man, but the woman's answer sometimes resulted in him not wanting a second date. He just wanted to make sure that woman wouldn't drag his great credit score down. And that's silly, in theory, because you should fall in love with a man, not his wallet. But, realistically, his credit score will weigh on you, and vice versa. Do you know your man's spending habits? Does he know if you have tons of student loans? These topics, while dull and unromantic, will come up in the future when you are trying to buy a house and it's important to discuss them.

After the chat, we had a workbook exercise on fiances. We each went to separate rooms to fill out the worksheet, then reconvened to compare our answers. Anything that didn't match was something we discussed at length.

The next couple spoke about the sacraments of marriage and prayer life. That was the most powerful. The couple wasn't a picture perfect pair who had everything amazing happen to them. It was a real couple who, very honestly, shared their personal story with us. It forced everyone to acknowledge that marriage isn't always sunshine and roses, but that does not mean that you give up.

We then did a worksheet on the sacrament of marriage.

Then we had lunch.

And lots of beverages, apparently.

Next was a talk on communication and conflict resolution, plus a workshop. I think this was the easiest of them all, really. If you're in a relationship long enough to decide that you want to get married, you've gone through conflicts. You know how to resolve them.

According to my paper, we had a Five Love Languages video and exercise next, but I can't remember it. At all. Like not even one little bit.

The last talk was natural family planning. The woman who gave the talk was really knowledgeable and open. It was the most faith based of the talks, but it was an important topic no matter what your faith. You and your husband need to discuss if you're going to have children -- and what your plan for having (or not having) them is and how you will raise them. This is something you should discuss before you bring a child into the world. As with the other talks, there was a worksheet that followed.

After, we wrote a love letter to each other. I had always said I had no plans to write our vows, but this was pretty close. Following a day of being really open and honest with each other and discussing things that couples should, you got to write a letter to each other. I still have the one Pete wrote me. It was just so sweet and touching.

There was a closing prayer, we got a certificate to give to our church, and that was that.

What do you do after Pre-Cana?

There is an online questionnaire that you fill out. It asks you a bunch of questions that stem from what you discussed at Pre-Cana and you answer either agree, disagree, or undecided. You and your fiance have to answer separately so you don't cheat off each other. The results are then sent to your church. You make an appointment and sit down with a couple from the church who explains the questionnaire to you, then leaves you alone to go over the answers.

The purpose of this is not to tell you that you can't get married. The church won't step in for that, no matter how many of your answers match (or don't). It is just to show you any red flags that might appear that you should discuss.

This is the only time you see your results. You do not get a copy of the test to compare notes down the road. They're not around for posterity. You can't say, "Remember during Pre-Cana you said ... " and then bring the results out for evidence of flip flopping. This is just a vehicle to get you and your fiance to talk; it's not something to hold over each other's heads later in life.

Pre-Cana Questions

1. Do you have to do Pre-Cana at your own church?
No. You're also not required to do it in your own diocese even.

2. Is it free?
Ours wasn't. Our course cost us $125. Your fee may vary based on your church and diocese.

3. Do you have to go together?
Yes, you and your fiance must both attend at the same time.

4. Is Pre-Cana required?
Only if you want to get married in a Catholic church.

5. When do you do it?
The timeline is up to you, but the Pre-Cana classes and time you sit to discuss your questionnaire results must be completed before you get married.

6. How long is Pre-Cana?
Ours was about six hours, beginning at 9am and running until about 3pm.

6. Was it worth it?
Absolutely. Even couples who have been together for years or even living together can benefit from this. It's all marriage-based and very little faith-based. We went in not knowing what, exactly, to expect and I think it was definitely a benefit for us. Pete doesn't come to church with me on Sundays, but he even saw the benefits of Pre-Cana.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Have any other Pre-Cana questions? Leave them in the comments and I'll be sure to answer as best I can.

Pre-cana is good even if you're not Catholic.

Check out Pete's post: Why Pre-Cana Is Beneficial (even if you're not religious).

Wedding Budget Infographic

I finally learned how to put together an infographic. So fun, right?

Of course, my first infographic had to be one for setting your wedding budget. I based it off our actual wedding budget. You can click the image to make it larger, but there's also a breakdown of the costs per category below.

Wedding Budget

50% -- Reception: venue, food and drinks, decorations, set up, break down

15% -- Photography & Videography: 11% towards photos, 4% towards videos

8% -- Attire: dress, veil, shoes, suit, accessories

6% -- Music: band/DJ for the reception

6% -- Flowers: bouquets, boutineers, ceremony site decorations

4% -- Gifts: thank you gifts, favors, welcome bags

4% -- Stationery: save the dates, invitations, thank you cards

3% -- Transportation: limos for bridal party, shuttle for out of town guests

2.5% -- Ceremony: officiant, musicians

1.5% -- Dessert: cake, cupcakes, candy buffet

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which of these categories might change in your wedding budget?

Don't forget about tips!
Find out how much you need in our Who Gets Tipped At A Wedding? (And answers to all your other wedding tipping questions.).

Pin Of The Week: Engagement Wine Markers

I'm absolutely in love with this week's Pin of the Week. Check out these engagement wine markers.

These were from Etsy, but they sold so you can't buy them. I'm sure it's easy enough to DIY them, although it would be easier if you could find a diamond stencil. I looked on Amazon and couldn't find anything. I was playing around and drew one, so you could definitely do that.

DIY Engagement Wine Markers

What You'll Need:

• Cardstock
• Pencil
• Scissors
• Wine glass
• Heart punch (optional)
• Metallic Sharpie markers (optional)

What You'll Do:

• Trace the bottom of the wine glass onto a piece of paper.
• Draw a diamond.
• Cut out the shape.
• Cut an inner circle to create a band. Put a slice in the band portion so this can slide over the wine glass' stem.
• Use the heart punch to create hearts from the extra cardstock. These will look pretty when you decorate the table (and your craft will look exactly like the pin above).
• Use the markers to write everyone's names on the band.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you think you could make these engagement wine markers?

Five Hidden Wedding Costs

It was two days before the wedding. Pete was out with his friends who were already in town and I was sitting on the floor in the guest bedroom, putting together our thank you gifts for the bridal party. In the middle of stuffing gift bags, I got a text from our photographer with the balance. It included tax.

I wrote back, "Sounds great" or something similar, but in fact, it wasn't great. I don't know why it didn't cross my mind, but I didn't consider that we would have to pay tax. We had the money so it was fine, but two days before your wedding, you don't often have money to spare.

To help you plan ahead, I put together a list of five hidden wedding costs. Keep this list handy so you're not caught off guard when you're at the end of planning.

Five Hidden Wedding Costs

1. The priest (and other church personnel).
A week before my cousin's March wedding, it snowed. I was sitting in my grandma's room and it was really cold. "Text Erica and tell her to give the church a bigger donation so they will turn the heat on for her wedding," my grandma said. I did just that and my cousin replied saying she had already paid them quite a bit.

Paid? I wondered. Turns out, yes, you have to pay the church. That makes sense. Even if you attend church each week and give a weekly donation, you don't get to get married there for free. You pay the church. My cousin let me know you also pay the organist and the soloist (if you have music during your ceremony), the alter boy, and the liturgical assistant.

What I didn't know, though, was there is a "suggested gift" you give to the priest. And that suggested gift ... it's not really suggested. The day of the rehearsal dinner, the liturgical assistant came up to me to ask for the priest's gift. Good thing I brought it with me just in case.

2. Vendor meals.
I was talking to my friend Nicole before our wedding and told her we were planning on  having a band instead of a DJ. "You know you have to feed them, right?" Nope. I didn't know. You actually pay for a meal for every vendor who will be at your wedding. It's not completely mandatory, but it is customary. So your band or DJ, photographer(s), videographer(s) ... they all need to eat. We were lucky that our venue only charged us half price for vendors.

When you choose your band, remember that a nine-piece will cost more (for meals) than a three-piece. And when you give your head count to your venue, give your total guests (including you and your fiance) and then a separate count of vendors.

3. Service charges and tax.
The first venue we sat down at went over charges with us. As I was looking at the price sheet, I noticed a 21% service charge would be applied, plus 7% tax. This charge appeared all over. So in addition to calculating the price per plate and setting our budget accordingly, we also had to tack on nearly 30%. If you forget about this cost (or don't know it exists until your final bill), you'll have serious shock at the final price.

4. Alterations.
It's not that people forget about this. I don't think anyone actually thinks that you buy a dress and alterations are free. But I also don't think anyone knows the cost of alterations until they actually have to pay for them. To get a bridesmaid dress altered, I was told it would be $60 to move the hemline 1-inch. I figured the bride wouldn't be coming out with a ruler to measure, so I saved the $60. I did pay the $15 to put a bone in (it's basically a little strip of plastic down the front of your dress that you stuff in your bra so your boobs don't fall out when you lean over).

For my wedding dress, I was really lucky. Every dress shop told me I was "made for a wedding dress" meaning that my frame fit perfectly into a size, so the alterations on my dress were very minimal. I didn't need it hemmed at all and I didn't need it taken in either. I had cups put in to help me fill out the top, I had a belt sewn in, I had a bustle built. It only set me back $75, which was amazing, but the seamstress I used was incredible and runs a small shop in town. I know of dress shops that do alterations in house -- and charge 10% of the cost of the dress to do it if you pay on the day of order. If you wait until after, those shops will charge you per item (as most do) and it can cost you around 20% of your dress' price.

5. Delivery charges.
We used a preferred vendor for our cake and tied it into our wedding package. That means the company delivered our cake for free. They also didn't charge us for our tasting or cake stand. Our florist, however, charged us delivery for the flowers it dropped off at the church plus the petals and bucket it allegedly dropped at the venue. You know what? I never saw those petals and the bucket never appeared. I'm guessing they were dropped off and never made it to the ballroom, which is fine but we did pay for them to get there.

But keep these in mind when you're hiring vendors. If you want your florist to bring flowers to you and your bridesmaids at home, your fiance at a hotel, and your venue, that's three deliveries and three delivery charges. Try to consolidate drop offs and you can save a little bit of cash.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What hidden wedding costs did you not know about until you were planning?