How To Write A Check For A Wedding Card (And guarantee it gets deposited)

This is a touchy post, one I put off writing because this is a fun blog with DIY projects and budget saving tips. It's not an etiquette blog. But the more I put it off, the more I thought about posting it.

When you get a gift, you have to be grateful for it. As the bride and groom, you are inviting people to your wedding for their presence, not their presents. It is absolutely not a requirement of your guests to give you any gifts. If they do, that's very nice of them. And if they don't, that's okay.

If you're a guest and you decide to give a check to the couple, here's my etiquette tips: Write it out to the bride using her maiden name, write it out to the groom, or write it out to cash.

I know, you probably want to write it out to the bride with her new last name. But here's the thing: You don't know if the bride is changing her name and if she is, you also don't know when. Most suggest not changing your name until after the honeymoon so that travel documents and ID match in your maiden name. You can legally change it after then.

But if the bride takes her time changing her name or doesn't at all (like me!), and a check is written out to Mr. & Mrs. Husband's Last Name, well, that Mrs. doesn't exist. And that makes it very hard to cash a check.

Pete and I opened a joint account after our engagement party so our wedding money would go in that account where either of us could make deposits. At my bridal shower, someone wrote a check to Mr. & Mrs. Pete's Last Name. Let's give him the last name of Jones because that will make it easier for the rest of this post. So they wrote the check to Mr. & Mrs. Jones.

My shower was six months before the wedding. My last name was mine, not his. In fact three months after the wedding, my last name is mine, not his. Because his name was on the account and because it was low value compared to the rest of my deposit, the bank allowed me to deposit the check ... after authorization from a supervisor. After the wedding, though, the majority of our checks were made out to Pete & Lisa Jones. But Lisa Jones, that person doesn't exist. And I have no intention of her existing in the immediate future. Maybe when we have kids, but we'll visit that then. For now, Pete can't RSVP and say the attendees are, "Me and Mrs. Jones."

So, anyway, I took Pete with me to the bank when I was making a deposit after our wedding. I didn't want a hard time. We got there and immediately had an issue with the names on the checks. The ones in my name were fine, the ones in Pete's name were fine, but the 75% or so with this imaginary wife were a problem. Not only did the teller have to call a supervisor, the supervisor had to call someone and talk to them for a very long time to get authorization for our deposit.

It was enough time for me to reflect on the times when I had written checks for weddings and wrote them to the bride and groom with the groom's last name. I never gave it a second thought ... until I was in the bank. Now, all my checks are getting made out to cash or I'm just giving cash. A hold up at the bank teller is a minor annoyance, but a new couple should be blissfully entering into their new life. I don't want to be the cause of any annoyance for them.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are your plans to change your last name when you get married?