The Elopement Jar (& Kelly Clarkson's Elopement)

If you've never planned a wedding, you don't understand how incredibly, mind-numbingly stressful it is. And if you have planned a wedding, you've uttered words you never thought you'd say, "Maybe we should just elope."

No little girl dreams of putting on her best flip flops and walking down to the courthouse to elope. And yet, when you're sitting there with the stress of deciding exactly what color -- ivory, white, or offwhite -- for the chair covers, you yell, "I don't even care what the chairs are covered by. I actually don't even care if people sit in chairs. They can stand on their heads for all I care."

And then you utter the words every bride has said: We should just elope.

The groom, the guy who has to put up with every stress-related tantrum with a listening ear and a non-opinionated opinion, silently hopes that this is the time you actually go through with an elopement. There are very few men who really care about all the pomp of a wedding. He asked you to marry him and just wants to be married. You are the one who wants to plan the whole wedding. And since he loves you, he sits on by.

But if it was up to him, he'd put on a pair of flip flops and head to the courthouse.

About two weeks ago, we got to that point, the one where we threw up our hands and said we should just elope. It was a sentiment we had been saying frequently. And that's when I started the elopement jar.

We had gotten a jar from our friends who were moving and sat it on our coffee table to mind its own business.

"That's the elopement jar," I said. "If either of us say the word elope, we have to put a dollar in the jar and we'll use that towards our honeymoon."

Seems like it's working. The jar ...

... has absolutely nothing inside.
Maybe that's because we're consciously not saying the word or maybe that's because things are starting to fall into place. Personally, I think it's the latter. There was so much chaos at the start of wedding planning. We didn't know what we were doing, we didn't know the area at all, and even though we were making decisions a year in advance, all the timelines seemed to be telling me I was behind schedule.
Yesterday was exactly ten months until the big day, and I think we're in a really good spot. We have a venue, the church, and our photographers. Our save the dates were mailed. I got a dress. Our favors are done. We're in good shape ... but for a while, we weren't.
And that's where Kelly Clarkson seems to be. My maid of honor emailed me this morning to say that the first winner of American Idol was scrapping her wedding plans and eloping. She told People magazine:

"We are so busy that we finally just came to terms the other night and were like, 'So, we change our minds and we want to elope.' We just got so overwhelmed by it – all the decisions."

I don't blame her. It is a lot of work and decisions. I want to call her and tell her that every bride gets overwhelmed and every bride says elopement.

But, for saying it, she does have to put a dollar in the jar.

And she might have to change her latest single. Her newest song is called Tie It Up, features a barn wedding as the backdrop, and has the chorus:

Let's set the date
Let's hire the band
Let's cut the cake
Tie up the cans

There's also the line:

Tie it up
Invite the town

In her case, she just wants her and her fiance, his kids, and the minister (which seems to cross off Blake Shelton as officiant from the list of Kelly Clarkson's wedding plans).

That's not for me, but if that's the way she wants to kick start her forever, then that's perfect. People lose site of the fact that a wedding reception is just a party you have to celebrate that you and your partner are now united and will spend the rest of eternity as one.

So whether the latter happens in a church, a courthouse, or a city block, all that matter is what happens after ... the love and the life part, not the party.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Be honest: Did you ever say you want to scrap you wedding plans and just elope?